Online Dating

Last Tuesday I had a second meet with "Cliff'.  It was not the most fun date as he had just lost his job.  But he is a really nice guy.

The next day I emailed him a short and humorous email.  I knew he had a fully booked weekend so we had not made any plans for a third meet.  That was fine.

Didn't hear, didn't hear, didn't hear.  Did he ghost on me?

Finally, yesterday (one week after the 2nd meet) I sent a second email, brief and to the point.  I was completely prepared to leave it at that.

He emailed back and said he NEVER got last week's email.  He was worried that I wasn't interested because he was jobless.

So, for those of you who say never ever ever contact again...I can say without a doubt that if I had not sent that second email I would not have heard from him again.

I admit, I could still be wrong: it may be that he was thinking he wasn't that interested and lied about the email.  OR whatever.  But IMHO, it doesn't hurt to send just one more.

I would like to say this story has a happy ending with sunset and wedding bells, but we are still working on a 3rd meet and this time the delay is mine: I have a bad cold.

If all men were EXACTLY the same the rules would be helpful.  We are not.  Men are no more identical than women are.  The rules may be helpful as a general guideline, but use your judgement most of the time. 

I am glad you have had a chance to see this guy again and maybe helping him in a difficult situation where men are especially vulnerable may make him like you even more. 

Side note:

Most of us men have a lot of our self esteem tied up in our jobs/careers.  Its hard wired in our DNA to be providers even though the modern economy does not support this notion.  If we lose our jobs we can feel like failures even if it had nothing to do with us.  I know this happened to me many years ago.  My bank was sold and they came in the next day and laid off all the officers.  I felt like a failure even though it was not my fault I was in the group that got canned. 

I'm not clear on why he thought you weren't interested...was the email that he didn't receive in response to one he sent, or was there another communication from him that you had not responded to?

Sheri

I totally agree. You never know. & of course, you dont send a 3rd & a 4th email. But what is 1 extra going to hurt if you arent sure why someone didnt respond to your 1st?  In my opinion, if they are going to think negatively about that, then its not someone Id want to meet anyway - if they are that ridiculous about the "rule" thing. What have you got to lose? & sometimes, you MAY just win!

In fact, that happened with my BF. He contacted me on POF. I cant remember the details, but i think we e'd a bit, then he went away for a week or someting (it was 8 months ago, so its hazy) - but i think he has alluded to us going out for drinks b4 he left & then i didnt hear back. A week or so later, I was literally cleaning out my contacts & I sent him something like "Just clearing out my inbox. You mentioned meeting at some point, so if you dont want to end up in teh delete pile, let me know". lol  Something like that. Anyway - so here we are, exclusive & having a blast, 8 months later! :)