The Dating Game

I've been dating a guy for about a month now.  We've known each other for 2 years, so it's not like we are complete strangers or anything.  We've seen each other every weekend and some through the week as well.  We've spent the night together, but nothing has happened, strictly sleep and cuddling, which he initiates...yay! 

So, my question is, do the rules change when you've known someone so long?  Not that I'm up for the whole bit yet...but I wouldn't mind a nice make-out session.  We've kissed...the night of our first kiss we kissed quite a bit and since then they've been...like they start to get to a...heavier place, then he just stops.  I'm not sure why.  Like maybe one really nice long kiss, his hand at my neck and on one my waist or back.  My hands...somewhere?? around his waist or something...neck or something I think.  Then he just stops and we go on about whatever.  We've talked about the games people play and neither of us are in for that.  So, I don't think it's that.

I'm not the most experienced "dater" by any means.  So, I'm really lost on what or why or even how.  The dating seems to be going well.  We talk daily...sometimes he initiates, sometimes I do.  He'll text me to see how my day is.  We text some...but mostly only during working hours to say hey.  So, nothing is wrong.  And I guess this isn't really "wrong."  I just think maybe i'm ready to be a little more physical.  Maybe it's too soon for that?  Like I said we've known each other for 2 years...not sure if that matters though.  Any suggestions?

So, my question is, do the rules change when you've known someone so long?

I'm confused. What rules are you talking about?

I have lots of questions. How old are you? How well do you know this man? What sort of relationship are you seeking? Same question for him. And what are you doing in his bed if you don't want sex? And why ask what the rules are if you said:

We've spent the night together, but nothing has happened, strictly sleep and cuddling, which he initiates...yay! 

So are you in school? Is he your cuddle buddy?

I don't think you need to date a long time to know what a mature relationship consists of...

Last, why don't you ASK HIM what is going on? Why he stops?

I honestly can't figure out if you want him to stop or not. I don't *get* this whole scenario.

Help! Thanks.

I would let him take his time.  You do not need to be in a hurry.  I suspect that you are both fairly young and he may not be very experienced.  If this is the case, you probably do not want to rush things.

By rules I meant, not literal rules but, something like well, things shouldn't go too fast, but when you've known each other for 2 years...some of the getting to know one another steps have already been done.  So, it seems that things may progress faster than usual. 

How do I know him?  We've been friends for a couple of years and are both in a community club together.  I am 31 and he is 28.  We live across the town from each other, so as far as the sleeping thing, it was just easier when we had gotten in late from a cook out and we had said that taking things too fast was not good.  So it was a relaxed type situation.  I said yay, because he didn't "try" anything like some people would.  I trust him so I wasn't concerned.  We agreed on the situation and he's a cuddler, which is sweet.  I don't figure there are too many of those out there.  So, that was what the yay was all about. 

I guess I had just enough detail in my original message to be a bunch of nothing.  But oh well...there ya go.  And I did ask him why he stops...he needs to get some dental work done and he's paranoid at the moment about his breathe.  So, that was easy. 

This clarifies things alot to me.  I get the impression that he may be moving slowly because if he rushes things he may lose more than just a potential girl friend.  If you have been friends for a long time he may want to take it slow to make sure he does not make a mistake with you.