Ask the Dating Doyenne

I have been dating a guy long distance for 5 months. I know he is into me and he does most the pursuing. I have never had to question if he likes me or not. Recently he has been extremely stressed with work and thinking he is losing his job. He has been a bit depressed and frustrated on what to do. Also for a little background he has been married before and has a child. The wife left him to raise the child on his own. I know he has had one other bad relationship where they always fought. He has told me he is gaurded and I can tell he is sensitive.

Now our relationship has been great but it has been long distance and I always visited him in his world. When we see each other it is wonderful and he is so attentive and fun to be with.

I just have relocated and am closer to him now. I am not settled in my own place yet and things have been a bit stressed in my situation on getting settled. Anyway he came to visit the other day and in a few hours said he was uncomfertable and left. This hurt me, I had not seen in in over a week and a half and he would rather drive home in the middle of the night then stay with me.

We talked the next day and he told me that he was just uncomfortable and had a lot going on with his work and had been so stressed. He said me being unsettled and meeting new people he did not want to get in the way. He first suggested taking a break until we were more settled in our situations. I laughed and said we hardly see each other as it is. Then he said I could come see him but he could not take the stress of visiting me until I had my own place. Also in this conversation he was telling me with his work issue that he did not have the time needed to put into a serious relationship. I have never pressured him but I think with me being closer he has thought that is the next step.

So I am confused. I feel two ways. One when he says he does not have the time needed to put into a serious relationship, does that mean I am not the one and he just has fun with me and likes my company. Or is he really stressed, nervous or scared that a serious relationship means headaches and heartache? Do I keep seeing him casually or do I pull out? I really like him and want to see if it will progress but I don't want to get any more hurt then I already am about this.

Thanks guys these replies were all helpful. I do like him and am willing to be casual for the time being but I need to talk to him about it.

He called me late last night when I was asleep and I am deciding if I should call him back tonight or shoot him an email saying I need a few days to think about things before I return his call. Then I would call him in a few days. This way he has time to think what it is like not talking for a week and gives us more time before we talk again to think how we feel about the whole situation.

Ugh I liked this relationship because I never had to think about any of these kinds of decisions. Why can't it just be easy with not thinking on the right thing to do?