Ask the Dating Doyenne

It depends.

What is causing you trouble; the gut feeling knowing that she's done things sexually that bother you enough to reconsider her character, or the concern that she has different values from you, making a relationship difficult?

Are you willing to get to know her well enough to reconsider your bias based on who she is as a person today?

"She was honest enough to tell me she had a few 3somes with the same guy and girl some 10 yrs ago. This doesn't sit well with me. When i think about this i see a girl who is kinda adventerious and maybe not relationship based. Thoughts on this please"

If you are just judging her and really don't approve of HER because she did this, then let her go. She doesn't need that. She was honest enough to tell you because she cares about you. She probably knows it could be an issue for you, and let it out there so you can judge for yourself.

A person's sexual desires or past experimentation has nothing to do with whether or not they will currently be "relationship-based." ESPECIALLY WHAT THEY DID 10 YEARS AGO!!! If you care about her, give her a break, her past is her past. Now if she were running around having 3-somes right NOW, I'd worry.

Seriously. If you are already labeling her a slut or some other harshness deep down in the recesses of your mind, do her a favor and let her go. But if you respect her still, and care for her still, let THE PAST go and just be with the woman who impressed you before you knew she "adventured" before.

Disclosing this information to you was a bad judgement call that served absolutely no purpose.

On the other side of the coin, you dwelling on it and pondering whether she is wild and and not serious enough is speculative.

If it doesn't sit well with you and you are dwelling on it, then maybe she is not for you.

Are you willing to give her a real chance to show you who she is today? Are you able to get over something she did A DECADE AGO? If not and I were her, I would be the one who would be bolting.

First of all, I don't think you should judge somebody on what their sex life was like ten years ago. What she may have wanted ten years ago may not be what she is looking for now. Secondly, I don't think the fact that somebody wants a threesome means that they're not interested in relationships. If you're just worried that she is not is going to be interested or ready for a relationship, then I think may be judging her too harshly and may need to give her chance.

I don't know how intimate you have been with her thus far. It might be possible that she is more sexually adventurous in bed than what you're used to. Not that I think she would want to bring in other people, but she may enjoy experimenting between the two of you. Then, again, she may not be. If you like everything else about her, I think you should still give her a chance and then wait to see whether you are incompatible in that area, and if so, whether or not that is something the two of you can compromise on.