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discussion title:
 

Cheating or not?

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message #:
  34319.1
replies:
  3
from:
  tinytina86
date:
  Nov-5 10:16 pm

My b/f and I have been dating just over a year now.  I saw on his facebook messages that he had asked some girl whom I never heard of, to go hiking.  Just her and him.  He said in his message to her that I was on my vacation.  My b/f I have noticed feels more comfortable hanging around females (he's 39), than males.  This has bothered me for some time now.  I feel that he's insecure so he's needs female attention for reassurance or to maybe feel secure.  Interestingly  enough we had established early on in the relationship that it WAS ok if we hang out with members of opposite sex only if there is a group involved (not a 1 on 1 meetup).  One other time, he went out with a girl from work just her and him and this was also after the discussion of groups only of members of opposite sex.  Not sure if I can be in this relationship anymore due to this.  He stated to me when I approached him about the most recent event..that he's been "lonely"! and he just wanted somebody to go on a hike with him.  My vacation was only 3 nites and he asked her to go with him only the second day I was gone.
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discussion title:
 

Cheating or not?

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message #:
  34319.2 in response to 34319.1
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  3
from:
  undercovercrab
to:
  tinytina86
date:
  Nov-6 7:14 am

Your title is "cheating or not?" and no I don't think he's cheating on you. But you need to get your head around whether or not him hanging out with females alone is acceptable to you, because in some relationships it would be and others it wouldn't. I must tell you that I have guy friends I hang out with alone and it isn't about ego or male attention. If this really bothers you then you need to tell him what your limits are and see if he can agree to work within them. I don't necessarily think it's unreasonable for you to feel uncomfortable going on a hike alone with another woman but it sure doesn't show a lot of trust in him.
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Nov-23


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discussion title:
 

Cheating or not?

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message #:
  34319.3 in response to 34319.1
replies:
  3
from:
  bitemex5
to:
  tinytina86
date:
  Nov-6 9:52 am

Nope not cheating...he didnt get angry with you for snooping...yes you were snooping and thats bad. You have been with this man for over a year. You have known for how long that he has a lot of female friends. Which does not make him insecure. I have many male friends and am not insecure. I just get a long better with them. And the snooping thing...unless it was something that was oput on his wall then it is more obvious that he isnt cheating. Email...you would be SNOOPIN...stop that.
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