Dealing with In-Laws

That's awesome that you took the higher road, even if the result was just confirmation that your MIL is a hateful mean person.  At least you tried which is a lot more than some people would do.

I do a lot for my MIL - I've painted rooms in her house, cleaned for her, cleared a tree for her, made tons of food for events and hosted numerous of her parties at my house - all to never be good enough.  It used to bug me but now I just feel like I'm doing the right things because that's the kind of person I am - she is nasty and that's who she is.  By being able to know and accept that, I feel a lot less used and abused by her.  I just do the things I want to and like to do and decline everything else.  :)

I try not to say anything bad about his mother.  The only time I might say something is when he puts me down to raise her up.  I'm by no means perfect and don't claim to be, but neither is his mother.  For years I have tried to right this wrong, to no avail.  I have now washed my hands of the matter.  That does not mean that I won't be there for him or her if I had to be, but I refuse to allow anyone to mistreat me or my children any further. 

I am truly at peace with the situation, considering the fact that I have done all that I can do.  I suggested that my husband move back with his mother, so that he could take care of her while she is trying to recover/deal with her medical issues.  I do not want to interfere with their relationship and I definitely don't want anything to happen to her without her son being there to support her.