Dealing with In-Laws

I really need some help with this one! I don't know how to handle this anymore. I recently got married in August of this year. I thought things might change a little bit, but they haven't. I can't stand my sister-in-law. Ok, it started even before we got married. She has always said the rudest things to me. Some examples would be....so she invited us to her house for Thanksgiving a copule of years ago, everything was going fine, she had it set up where people would help themselves to the food on the counter, so my husband and I let everyone else go ahead of us, and we were the last ones in line, so while we were going through the line, she announces that they were going to say a prayer, so we stopped and bowed our heads, while she was saying the prayer.... she announces...."so you and my husbands' name, you need to say it out loud. She was not joking, dead serious and bitchy about it. His whole family is Catholic, I'm Lutheran.. and I felt like that was inappropriate to say. My husband and I both had our heads bowed, I don't feel like we needed to say anything out loud.

Another example....we had gone shopping that same day, it was just myself, her, my husbands' mom and his aunt. We were walking around the store and I was looking for some advice on what quality brand name appliances to register for, I just wanted to know what was good and what would last a long time.......his sister's reaction was......."Don't expect anything from me"  I was like...I wasn't even asking you to get me anything, I was just wondering about what good appliances to get.

Another example, we got a new puppy. We got it when it was 7 weeks, we had invited his sister and family over to our house. Then, all the girls went for a walk and I was walking my dog. My dog hasn't taken classes yet. So, my puppy was walking ahead of me. So, his sister says....."oh look, training her bad habits already, she's leading you."  I just wanted to just punch her in the face. I'm sick of her talking over me, making me inferior to her, I just can't stand her. I've been nothing but nice to her. I am a really nice person, and maybe that is my problem, I want to know how to stick up for myself and not allow this to happen anymore, it is seriously causing me not even to want to be a part of their lives. I almost called off my wedding because of his family because I did not want to live with her as my sister in law. But, I love my husband to much!

Sweetie,

Frankly your SIL sounds jealous of you or her brother's new stage in life. You don't say how old she is or how old you are? If she's been the "only girl" in the family for her entire life your entry into the family represents a huge threat to her "place" as "queen female."

Here's my suggestions for resolving this issue:

1)Your husband needs to stand up for you to his sister. Depending on how old she is he needs to either talk to her directly or talk to his parents about her behavior toward you.  He needs to tell her that he won't accept her insulting his WIFE and that she needs to keep her thoughts and comments to herself. If she's underage then her parents need to be told that he finds her behavior toward you unacceptable.

2)You may have to learn to ignore most of what she says to you. I know how difficult that can be  believe me! What I'm talking about is not REACTING to every little thing she says or does. If you do, then you really are letting her control you and determine your happiness. Believe me as hard as that is to do, if you get good at it you'll find you have a lot more peace and happiness.

3)If this continues or gets worse I'd suggest you and your husband see a marriage counselor. Sometimes it takes a trained professional to provide husbands with a "real" view of how things are affecting their wives. Your husband may just accept his sister's behavior as "normal" when it's not. He might need to be told that his sister's behavior is rude and that he needs to stand up for you.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.