InLaws won't let us host a holiday

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oneboy1hubby

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Nov-5

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discussion title:

InLaws won't let us host a holiday

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9529.1

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oneboy1hubby

date:

Nov-5 7:24 pm

Help. I need advice, my in-laws will not allow us to host a holiday. Some how all of the holidays belong to his sisters. So I am expected to take my four year old to their houses. My MIL is not a fan of mine - for no good reason (I swear) and she expects me and my husband to tolerate her nonsense. I don't want my husband and son to never see mother/grandmother, sisters/brothers/aunts/uncles/nieces/cousins for the holidays but I can't stand their holiday rotation which does not include our home - which has the most space and is the most conveniently located, has parking, etc. With the holidays quickly approaching - the stress in our family is building. I must admit dh said we can do whatever I want but I was hoping for more of a joint decision rather than being a scrooge. (also, expect for one out of state sibling, none of my husbands siblings spend any holiday time with their in-laws. The only other dil lives out of state and spends all holidays, except some THanksgivings with her family)

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bigmomma1965ca

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discussion title:

InLaws won't let us host a holiday

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9529.2 in response to 9529.1

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bigmomma1965ca

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oneboy1hubby

date:

Nov-5 7:39 pm

Let dh know that this year your family will be at home and he can inform his foo of this and if they show up,they show up.If they dont then you know how they truly feel about you and your family.Remind dh that with your youngster it is time to being your own family traditions..something for your child will remember in good times and bad times growing up.Plus im sure you got your own FOO that you would like to have over.To heck with what his mommy thinks or says but you need to get dh on the same page and begin your own family traditions.

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cl-stretch123

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discussion title:

InLaws won't let us host a holiday

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9529.3 in response to 9529.1

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cl-stretch123

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oneboy1hubby

date:

Nov-5 7:56 pm

Hi Oneboy1hubby, welcome to the board!

Why not alternate between your family, his family and having the holidays at your house?

Nothing says that you HAVE TO spend the holidays at his family's house. You could spend the holiday at your house and then the weekend before or weekend after, celebrate with his family somehow.

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mom2danjam

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discussion title:

InLaws won't let us host a holiday

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9529.4 in response to 9529.1

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mom2danjam

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oneboy1hubby

date:

Nov-6 7:12 am

Do what YOU want.

What is this "won't ALLOW" business? You are a grown woman. If you want to have a holiday celebration at your own home, do it. There is no law stating that you HAVE to go to their homes for every damn holiday. And there is no law stating that you have to put up with any crap out of them, either.

If they treat you that badly, stop or severely limit contact. Keep your child at home too, and start your own traditions.

By the way, YOU are not being a "scrooge". His family is selfish and rude.

Is your DH being passive about this? As in, 'Sigh', You can do what you want...sigh. ? Or is he taking an active role in this? If not, he needs to. He needs to ensure that his wife is not treated badly, even if it means telling his Mommy to grow up.