Recognizing & Dealing w/ Domestic Abuse

You know these guys all have the mind twisting games in common.  It seems they all use the same tactics.  

 I'm one that is stuck in this relationship, there is no leaving, (I've tried over and over).  So I've resigned to just living day by day and making the best of it.  I try to stay out of his way and have found some hobbies to keep my mind off things somewhat for the time being.

 Lately I've tried using the same lines he does with me.  I've found when I use similar tactics he actually becomes speechless.  He doesn't expect those responses from me.  It takes the control away from him.  I said something like this yesterday and he actually stopped in the middle of a sentence and you could tell that he was taken back by my response.  Anyone else have a similiar experience?

I had a similar experience just today..he comes home at 7 pm..I have myself just come from work an hour earlier..the dishes are still to be done, cooking still to be done and I had a rotten day at work. I had eaten some snacks and some crumbs were still around on the table. He gets all mad and starts messing up the table more. I also talk back and say I am busy and he needs to be supportive and not get picky over small things. This I said in same tone as him, not yelling, but in a firm and loud voice. Then he shouts some obscenities and said he will go then. I said, fine, leave. Of course he doesn't. Then he starts yelling some more, and I stand my ground. I start to tell him he is childish. Finally he is speechless and leaves. To be honest, my inside was shaking and all scared.

I think I was talking back only because DD was at friend's house..otherwise I dont say anything. But anyway, then he goes outside the house, I am all scared, but he only went to check mail and sat down and started to watch TV. I have not talked to him since.

I feel SO ready to leave..I regret coping out earlier, if you remember my post. Now too many school holidays are coming..I need to be in one house at least for that..else my dd will be in tug of war situation..

Hi Sweets, glad to see that you are doing okay. When I was dealing with an abusive man I would try to say and do the things he did to me back to him at times. He always seemed very surprised and at times seemed to back down a little. More proof that we are dealing with cowards and bullies.

Since you are resigned to staying with him, you may as well figure out how to beat him at his own game or at least make the situation more bearable for yourself.

All the best,