you are here: iVillage Love Love message boards Cyber-Cheating & Emotional Affairs  / I Crossed the Line  / 
advanced search  |  outline view  |  invite a friend  |  folder view  |  about the boards

Cyber-Cheating & Emotional Affairs

15205 messages posted to this board
find messages about   
log in
welcome!
 
next discussion >
last visit to this board
Nov-20


messages posted
this board
142

add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Never make him a priority

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  2208.1
replies:
  16
from:
  mom_sunny07
date:
  Oct-9 9:56 pm

I read a quote that I would like to share. "Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs."  This quote stuck out to me because this is how I feel today. I give, and I give, and I give. And what do I get back? Heartache. For a year and a half, I have been giving this guy all that I have while I get nothing in return. I have been making him a priority in my life...and yes, I am just a passing thought in his. He doesn't even have enough respect and caring for me to tell me what is going on in his life-I have to hear it from his friends while he acts like everything is o.k.  I spill my guts to him and tell him all my problems. I barely get an answer to a text half the time. He never does what he says he is going to do and he only contacts me when it is to HIS advantage. Not sure why it is taking me this long to see this side of him but maybe this is a good thing. I can't believe what I was willing to give up for this jerk! I am disappointed in myself. I am glad I had this board to vent and share my feelings. It kept me sane. Not sure I will be needing it anymore. :(
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
last visit to this board
11:47 am


messages posted
this board
69

add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Never make him a priority

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  2208.2 in response to 2208.1
replies:
  16
from:
  hanvan2
to:
  mom_sunny07
date:
  Oct-10 8:33 pm

Sorry you are feeling down, that seems to be what happens when you let reality in, as I know myself. My OM is out of town and the other day he had a day off and was dying to talk to me... I knew I should have said no but couldn't pass up the chance and we ended up skyping for four hours! I can't say it wasn't wonderful seeing and talking to him (haven't done that in a very long time) but then when it's over I just feel worse b/c I feel so close to him for that short time but then reality comes back and that's not how it is. I am having such a hard time with it all right now, I am really stressed out and confused as to why I am so attached to him! I have already been through this and NC and just friends and not caring but all of the sudden I can't deal! Having him tell me he loves me to my face a million times is probably what did it... I confided in a friend the next day and she immediately said it's all just a fantasy between us, which I know logically but my heart really thinks I love him...
Anyhow, that all sounds familiar, but having been on these boards for a while now I see that it is such a cycle of ups and downs and it only ends when we decide it ends. Are you still going to therapy? I tried that, too, but it didn't work. I also have started working again, which I thought would help. Anyhow, hang in there, we're stronger than we know!!
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
last visit to this board
Nov-20


messages posted
this board
142

add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Never make him a priority

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  2208.3 in response to 2208.2
replies:
  16
from:
  mom_sunny07
to:
  hanvan2
date:
  Oct-10 10:55 pm

Thank you hanvan for responding. He always tells me that I'm "awesome" and that he likes me. Mostly he tells me I'm awesome... like all the time. He shows his appreciation for the little things I do for him. Right now, he is just going through such a hard time and I know he only wants what is best for his children. Because of how I feel about him, it is so hard watching him go through this. I want to just hug him and tell him it will be all better. He doesn't deserve anything like he is going through and it just kills me. My reality is I am scared. Scared of alot of things. I am scared that he will become a free man and I am not free. Sounds selfish but I can't not think about that. It will totally kill me if he divorces and begins dating or something! It was almost like he was safe when he was married with a family and he wasn't going anywhere, you know?? I am also afraid of my feelings. And no, I am not still going to counseling. Mine didn't help much either except to be able to tell someone my feelings face to face. Your OM telling you he loves you is like him feeding you  a drug. Mine telling me that I am awesome happens to be mine right now too. It is a cycle of ups and downs and it is heart wrenching too. Thanks again.
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >

That message deleted

last visit to this board
Nov-20


messages posted
this board
142

add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Never make him a priority

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  2208.5 in response to 2208.3
replies:
  16
from:
  mom_sunny07
to:
  mom_sunny07
date:
  Oct-12 9:33 pm

o.k. so we (my family and I) are going on a little vacation with him and his family. I think we look for excuses to hang out. At least I do. But he is usually willing to make plans with me. At least he doesn't avoid me...ugh-let's see how hard it will be to spend a couple of days with him with our families. I am not even sure the wife is even going. I think they are separated. Will let you all know! Why do i put myself in these situations with him? I am a glutton for punishment i guess. :(
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
MESSAGES IN THIS DISCUSSION   1-5 6-10 11-15 16-16 read next>
< Jump to Previous Discussion    Jump to Next Discussion >
Change the number of messages
displayed on this page in
Indicate your interest in the discussion
   
Get updates to this discussion
delivered by email