Cyber-Cheating & Emotional Affairs

Hello,

I was wondering if it would be helpful if I post my past experience with CA here, or in any other board? or would it be counter-productive?

thanks

Since I didn't hear any strong objections, I'll go ahead.

A few years ago, I discovered a web site where married people could go and "flirt" for free in a chat room. This was a time that I really didn't know what I was doing, I was curious and wife was away often. I soon discovered that I was being naive to start a normal conversation as you would do in person. People there were only after one thing and they wanted it quick, thanks to the anonymity and facelessness the internet provided. Heck, they could pretend to be different, better, and in fantasy land. Anyway, one day a nickname caught my attention and I initiated a conversation that spontaneously (on my initiation) converged into the main subject; sex. It was interesting for her as well, so we continued. It was very subtle, and gentle, and at the end we exchange email addresses. The next day I opened my mailbox, and there she was, surprising me with her picture. She was beautiful. So I sent her mine and we continued what we were doing almost on a daily basis, but it wasn't the same routine. Everyday I would come up with a scenario and take her to different settings and places. My mind was working overtime to keep things exciting and interesting for her. I'm a good and fast typer, but still my fingers were super busy to keep the story flowing. She would sometimes respond and we would have a good laugh at the absurdity of my imagination. I even thought about recording those conversations and publishing them. I was busy typing when we met online, if you know what I mean, but I was just happy that she can get some satisfaction. This continued for a while and we were calling each other with stronger terms of endearment. It was almost like having a lover in person. This relationship or whatever you want to call it came to an abrupt end, because of a mistake on my behalf. At the beginning I had introduced myself with a nickname, and since things moved forward quickly, I didn't try to change that, until one day that I thought it would be better to tell her my real name. I didn't think that would make me different, but that almost broke her heart, since she had a mental picture of me, which was not 100% correct, and that flaw shattered the image.
Anyway, during that time, I was even putting more effort on my real relationship, perhaps because of the sense of guilt, even our sex life was improving! We were not talking about our spouses, but she was saying that she has a good husband, just he wasn't interested in sex from the first place. She liked my creativity and I liked her wit. In a way, we were complementing our marriages. We kept emailing occasionally for a year or two, but it was never the same.