Cyber-Cheating & Emotional Affairs

I became e-friends with a man from a post on a forum we got talking. All very innocently, a few friendly flirts, until he told me of the probs in his marriage and lacked attention. I am single never even had a 'proper relationship' not out of choice, just that things never seem to get to that level for me. We got a bit too flirty for friends. We e-mailed about 2 or 3 times a day telling each other of our lives etc. We had sooo much in common, and immediately on the same wavelength. Then he suggested he wanted to meet this person who he was so intrigued by. We live in diff countries, but he will be away on business for a year..this country is closer to where I live. He invited me to visit him ( all expenses paid for). I immediately told him NO, you are married and since we get on so well I am scared of something possibly happening and things becoming a mess cos in no way do I want to be the other Woman ( minus the fact I don't really know him, never met him and he wants to pay for me to see him?!).  He agreed things might be hard to keep it platonic so better we leave the idea but he still wanted to meet up at one point.

Then he had a turning point and decided he felt sneaky talking to me and should focus on his wife. Where they had probs before and now things were really really good and they are in a good place. I agreed and TOTALLY understood where he was coming from and if he felt sneaky then this isn't as innocent as I think it is. He told me he had a history of flirting and cheated on his wife early on in their relationship.

I was just disappointed to be loosing a friend, cos we got on so well. But oh well whatever. We even had a disagreement cos I tried to give him advice on how to curb his flirtations and for him to look at why he's doing this in his marriage. I then apologized realizing I gave advice he didn't even ask for so understood why he sent me an angry e-mail. He never replied.

Then less than a week later he says Hi ''pal'', and he will e-mail me when he has settled in at his new job and was wondering how I was...I mean why????Mentions nothing of the previous e-mail. I feel like I've totally missed something here. One minute he says our friendship is over. The next he is e-mailing me as if nothing happened? Oh and that he is looking forward to corresponding with me in the future. I haven't replied...I think I might wait and see what he'll say when he's 'settled in'...don't get it?? Really not sure what to say??

What d'you make of this?

Wow! The Qs you ask...my answers are all YES too! there's 7 years between us he's early 30s. I can't exactly remember how much I said about my lack of relationships but I guess when you pop in the word virgin...it can say it all. Wow, I will really think about offering that piece of info again to a male 'friend'.

You have many points I should think about and many truths...tell me about it- its very dangerous to do something like that. BUT the only thing was that when his behaviour changed it was cos he found a few e-mails from his wife to her ex!! Then he started to reverse the situation and guilt set in as they weren't half as bad as him wanting meet me. But gosh a total turn around I was NOT expecting to hear from him again, I even deleted him as a contact and told him to delete me, my e-mails to forget about me to help himself- as he himself said he wants to curb his ways.

Its difficult to tell cos beyond all the flirts and him wanting to meet me we had a good friendship. I must say, him being honest about his flirts has made me see him in a new light and I don't know that we can just forget all that and be friends again cos my barriers are up...especially knowing we cld be friends one minute then not the next. Also for goodness sake...he has a wife..AND kids..why does he REALLY need to be friends with me?! He has also constantly thanked me for being there for him to talk to when he really needed someone to talk to.

Thanks for your response hun. I appreciate it. ;)