EAS

I tried to find this on our Board and for some reason could not, so I stole it from a poster on MAS :)

by T.D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this!  When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...

LET IT GO!!!

Thank you for this post. Very true. I am still trying to learn to let it go.

Kristin

Hi Kristin :)

It is very true.  I mean why would anyone (not being judgemental...btdt) want to foist themselves on someone who expresses no real interest.  I guess we think we can change their minds.  It's sooo not worth our time and energy when there are so many other people on this planet that might welcome our company.  I bet we can all think back to a relationship where we wanted out and the more the other person tried to interject themselves into our lives and hearts, we considered them pathetic and we pulled away even more.   And the big thing with men is that, once they lose interest, it's more than likely it will never return. 

I'm happy to read that your fog is lifting and you now understand the dynamics.  Most affairs never really get off the ground...we stay stuck in the lusty infatuation stage because it can't go forward.  The relationship never stands the test of time and is not subject to the light of day.  How could it be.  Affairs are steeped in lies and deceipt and basement activity.  And, we can't (well shouldn't) start up new business without settling old business (that would be our previous commitment).

Thanks for posting in to prove to others that with time and distance, the fog does lift and clarity is around the corner.  Clarity may not always been what we had hoped for or expected, but it is real.

((hugs))

Clarity

Thank you Clarity.

I guess that was the whole point of my earlier post....that I have held on to the notion that it was somehow different. Even when reading other peoples post I still held on to the delusion that it was different. I have held on to that notion for far to long. I think a large part of healing is being able to admit the truth to ones own self. My truth is that it hurts like hell for XMM to be OUT of my life forever but it hurts like hell for him to be IN my life forever as well. At least if he is out of my life then I can move on....slowly but surely.....and take back my life. I am realizing things now that I never did before about the A and about myself. It is all very daunting....it is exciting, scary, confusing, enlightening and a whole bunch more emotions that I can't even put into words. Is this all normal (Well as normal as can be because of the situation)?

Kristin

Perfectly normal ;)  Once that affair bubble bursts, all the questions start.  That's a good thing.  Those questions need answering so we don't place ourselves in this kind of position ever again.

Our emotions won't be denied, so embrace them to get through them.  It'll be an emotional roller coaster for a while.   Like I tell the girls, accept your ticket, climb aboard, strap yourself in so we don't lose you and go for the ride...and no riding with your arms waving...:)  At least this rides stops vs the endless, around-and-around affair rollercoaster.

Give yourself time and some distance away...get the answers to your 'whys'... and you're gonna be okay, Kristin.

((hugs))

Clarity