I have been married for 8 years to my husband he is 43 and I am now 28, we have been together for 10 years.
Our relationship started out like everyone’s blissful, happy no one would ever get in the way of our love ever.
fast ward 10 years later 2 children 6 and 4 who are my world and his of course. a huge house, I am a stay ay home mom, we are self employed lots of debit and also comes the neglect ,ignoring ,not caring, pretending everything is happy when you both no it is not. I was feeling like maid who was not getting paid.
My husband was raised with a very abusive father in everyway and his mother also accepted it.
I was raised with a mother who accepted abuse from my father verbal always they drank, did drugs and so on.
so hear we are 2009 things are looking the same downward no way out at all I am stuck I am a wreck I feel lifeless the only thing keeping me going is my kids. My husband was very un involved in the children’s lives always working coming home going on the computer and then smoking a joint drinking a beer yelling at me for wanting to sneak away to wal-mart well the kids were in bed because I SHOULD HAVE BEEN able to do everything while he was at work.
This pass June my husband and I also had 2 3somes with other woman i felt nothing at all watching my husband have sex with someone else.. that proved to me i was emotionally numb to him and maybe there was no connection at all well i let my thoughts get the best of me and started to think maybe he was cheating on me on the side.
July i had a feeling maybe my husband was being distracted with something so I began my my journey on line looking at personal adds. I found one who was for married people, I registered not looking for anything but just browsing, I did not find my husbands add that " I thought I would find" I found this cute little 28 year old man who "WAS MARRIED" "WAS MARRIED TO A WOMAN MY HUSBANDS AGE" so we had exchanged emails and phone numbers it took me a while to contact him but I did we met and could not stop communicating at all it was like a drug I need to talk to him, he needed to talk to me. We met and had soooo much in common more then the average people ( soooo you think) it got really hot and heavy I become a great liar, was able to all of a sudden disappear for weekends i became so distracted that I let the house go, stopped having play dates for my kids, did not open mail did not care about a thing. all I knew was I was in love with this man who loved me and told me we are soul mates and we need to be together everything else to go along with that...
fast ward to about 3 months into the relationship I had this weird feeling that his "wife" was not the age he told me I looked him up on facebook and seen a pic of the 2 of them on his profile page and she did not look 43 she looked like she was 25 to 30. I called him and said " quick what year was your wife born in"? he could not answer me he asked why am I asking I said just tell me.... he could not answer well it turned out she was 27 a year younger than me. Well being CRAZY in love with him I forgave him ..... but I told him if there are anymore lies that will be it.
FASTWARD to 6 weeks ago... drugs and alcohol caught up to my husband i found a he did have a personal add on line i had a feeling and i checked his email account... I freaked out and made my move... PERFECT away out to be and make myself become available to my soul mate.... I PACKED up my stuff and moved out stayed with my friends got a condo and was happy as can be....
Well my "soul mate" had to tell me something in person after i had left my husband and children i was still taking care of them but was just not there at night. he said " I am not really married I am engaged to be married in June" well I thought for a few seconds WOW HE IS NOT MARRIED how odd is that. BUT THAT IS GOOD NEWS FOR ME now we can be together with out the hassel of breaking up 2 marriages... well. Mr.Soulmate ended his engagement so fast to be with me him and I were going to live this happy life together forever....
Fast ward 3 weeks ago
During this whole time of separation from my husband he was trying everything in his power to bring me back home we attended counselling, he stopped smoking and drinking fir the last 6 weeks he was cleaning cooking laundry taking care of the kids all by himself at some points. my husband was trying to show me he was a changed man and my kids were also telling me to come back home... My mr. soul mate would let me think about things then always had a way of bringing me back into OUR world... well our world did not last... I did not know anything about my soul mate only from what he told me... I knew no one he knew NO ONE.. mr. soulmate knew everything about me he even met my mom and her husband my closest friends..... he was a full part of my life I was not a part of his life fully... I only knew what he told me.... and that was we are in love he is going to take care of me and I had nothing to worry about after my husband and I get a divorce i will be very wealthy and never have to worry about money again.... well my husband cut me off money completely he was not going to sit back and pay for me to live this wonderful life with mr.soulmate he did find out about him.....
2 days ago i was having a nap got up and seen my husband was calling my son was sick.... I packed a bag left mr.soulmate sleeping and have not gone back. I am hurting right now...
when I opened the door to my beautiful house and seen my children and husband so happy to see me walk in the door I become so numb that my legs would not let me leave again.
I told mr.soulmate my kids need me I need to think for myself YOU HAVE BEEN doing all the thinking for me for the last 5 months and I need to take control of my life again.... he kept saying to me that "He gave up everything to be with me" i was feeling super gulity that he ended his engagement for me but then again i thought he was married....
Well no he did not he did not own his own home, he was not married, he lived with his parents, he had a nice truck Nothing on his side changed no one knew about me the only thing he did was break off his engagement.... he did not have any children..... he said the children will adjust ... Yes the children will adjust but when they ask me why did I not give their father a second chance and I have no answer who is going to look like they just gave up EVERYTHING.
this is 2 days now of not having any contact and I am feeling really good actually very good.... I was letting him do all my thinking and breathing... I had no alone time... I am HOME my home not the condo where i was pretending to be happy and living this fake dream... I am home where my real dreams are here and I have made them come true.
the last thing I want to say is Mr. Soulmate was worried about how i broke his heart and that promised I never would. When I told him I have broken 6 hearts he could not respond those 6 hearts were
My own
My husbands
My sons
My daughters
His heart
his fiancés heart as well.
the grass is not greener if anything it is worse and sad sometimes you find happiness but it is always short lived.
God bless you all.... and take care of your hearts they are all precious
Love 
