Relationships in Our 20s

Three months is way too early and sorry, but 21 is very young to be living together. You may have known one another 5 years but when you start having a relationship, you learn about one another in completely different ways and you start having completely different expectations of one another. If you want a great way to ruin the beautiful and fun honeymoon stage of a relationship, living together would be it.

At three months into getting to know one another as a romantic partner, you simply don't have enough information to make a huge commitment and not have it also be a huge risk. Your feelings for one another are very strong but your romantic knowledge about your relationship (your relationship will change a LOT in the next few years by the way) is very low. I would not recommend it at this point.

I'd wait another year at very least

(Been in your situation a couple of times before)

I've always wondered how early is too early to live together. I don't really think there is a finite answer. Instead, I feel that it is as individual as each relationship happens to be.

I am in a situation where I have a fairly new boyfriend. I love him very much. We met five months ago in a summer tour when I was still dating a previous boy. We spent everyday together and were responsible, among a few other staff members, for keeping the cast of the production focused. The cast was children so we felt that each decision needed to be one we were proud of to help shape developing children. This was also an opportunity to get to know how different people react in stressful situations while still being in a role model position. My soon-to-be boyfriend proved to be excellent. (The previous boyfriend happened to arrive unannounced and surprise me despite me asking that he didn't, simply because my schedule was jam packed and there was no one else to fill my role. He didn't understand, nor seem to trust me, which led to less communication and then to the end of our relationship.)

We have been dating for four months and I am so comfortable around him. We live an hour apart and often spend the night together. Even at the beginning, this wasn't awkward because we were used to spending the evening with people we worked with from our summer gig. He offered that we get dinner together on a two day break from the tour. When we did, it was so natural because we had been spending each meal together for a whole month.

Because of the situation in which we met, we have been able to get to know each other without the stress of "will this work out?" Instead, we would often meet early for a meal, sit with everyone, and still be the last ones to leave because we were always talking.

I feel that I will be lucky enough to spend the rest of my life with this man. He is so supportive and wonderful. We just click on all the big things and we enjoy sharing the little things. We both are big fans of open communication and often will approach a potentially awkward situation by bringing up the subject before any awkwardness can set in.

We both feel that someday we will get the opportunity to live together and may decide to be parents together. We have had no reason to rush things in our relationship and plan to keep it that way. I honestly can't believe that I have met such a thoughtful man who loves me so much and he claims that it will only get better from here.

While we have met each other's parents and close friends and there has only been unanimous approval, I still have no clue when we will be moving in together. I just moved to my first apartment without roommates as I'm 23 and he's been in his single apartment for several years. There is still an independent part of me that feels like later down the road, my apartment will be my last part of bachelorettedom that will serve as a way to have a place to live in case anything goes wrong. I'm not expecting it will, but it's also still early in my relationship. In the past, I've encountered crappy people of the male gender so it's become my nature to always develop a sound exit-strategy. This new man in my life is making me rethink this and I'm slowly thinking I may never again need one. At least for men.

I am not looking to move in immediately with my boyfriend but I'm curious on any thoughts anyone may have. Thanks for reading such a lengthy message. I hope you all feel love from those around you.