Relationships in Our 20s

No I dont know him at all.

I think right now, I am just not able to think clearly, this has all been such a shock. Maybe it just makes me so mad that she can go on with her life as if nothing happened- no consequences, while I am just heartbroken.

As much as you want to let him know, I would say no. It's not your place to tell him, it's hers. I know a married couple that lives a lie, and as much as I would love to tell this woman's husband, it is not my place to intervene. Everyone should be accountable for his/her own actions.

On another note, I think that it is nice that your bf wants to work things out and is sorry for his past actions. From my past experience (and I hate to say this...) once a cheater always a cheater. I married my bf of 4 years after he swore up and down and cried that he was sorry for cheating on me. I kick myself daily for continuing the relationship. It happened several times after our marriage (he never did find out that I knew about these girls), until I one day caught him and divorced him. It was a long learning process and people told me it would happen. I am not saying your bf is the same, but I can't get back those 6 important years of my life, and I would hate for you to go through the same thing. 

I agree that I would not tell the girl's bf. If you were close with him, that would be one thing, but he's a virtual stranger to you. I think I'd feel the same way you do if I were in your situation. When my ex cheated on me with the woman he is now married to, I really did want to tell her about his history as a cheater. He cheated on his girlfriend before me as well, and while he swore it was just a one time thing, clearly it wasn't. I am 100% positive that he will cheat on his wife, it is really only a matter of time.

Personally, I don't think I could or would forgive my bf if I were in your situation. It is not as though he got hammered one night and let things go too far and it was never going to happen again. He slept with this girl 3 or 4 times. Not only that, but he must have known she had a bf. So, not only was he disrespecting you, but this girl's bf as well. That to me is much more than a one time lapse in judgment and isn't something I could forgive and just move past.

That's just my two cents. Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

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