Guy Talk

I dont know how to start this.  I use to think that men were great, I never was really able to relate to them but I still liked them.  Afterall I am attracted to them physically, so it went without saying.

Now, I have completely let go of ever trying to understand them or relate to them.  Right now I just see them as objects.  Something to look at and mess around with, but thats where it ends.  I am no longer emotionally attracted to them.

i have been treated really bad by them.  They just see women as numbers to brag to their friends about.  Thats all they really care about anyways.  No matter who it is, they cant relate to me.  They never ask me about my passions, my ambitions...all they want to know is where I like to party and what my type of guy is...Its like that all that matters...I'm an object.

They just see me as an object, so why shouldnt I treat them like objects?  They are terrible people.  They are nice to their guy friends or other guys...but in my face, they turn into complete jerks...or they are nice to me to my face but talk trash behind my back.  They have their own agendas and lack any capacity to really care about a woman.  I dont relate to them as people, I kinda just compare them to a dog for the most part.  Something to play with and show off from time to time, but thats how they treat women, so why shouldnt I do the same?

People say that there are men who are great people, but I really dont think so.  I've never had a man do anything of utter importance for me.  The only people who have ever showed any care for me have been women.  Men dont have the ability to care.  In life let alone in a relationship.  Why?  Why dont they respect women??

Thanks for listening

Actually I encourage feedback.  No, I dont have grandfathers or my father in my life at the moment.  My father loves me but he doesnt and I dont think ever has loved my mother.  I love my father, but he makes a terrible husband.  And from what I learned about my grandfather, he was a womanizer.  My grandmother tells me these stories but she lived back at a different time and in another country where women didnt have the say so about this stuff.  There was never any respect for women.

Like I said though, the fact that I didnt see romantic love in my early life didnt discourage me from liking men and wanting to connect with them and have romantic love with them.  Its always been a dream of mine,  I use to want to, but after bad experiences with significant others and dating guys and just men in general left me cynical of men. 

Unfortunately I'm straight, so its a terrible situation.  I am just so angry.  I dont want to be but I am.

I meet men at normal places...through friends, through acquaintances, through classes, at the gym. 

Why are they so terrible?  Women are so caring.  When women do something nice for me its because they care.  When men do, its cause they have ulterior motives.  Why are they like that?

I dont like to think this way but I do. 

I meet men at normal places...through friends, through acquaintances, through classes, at the gym.

Maybe you need to look in better places for better men. If these are the kinds of men your friends are introducing you to, maybe you need some better friends too!

Why are they so terrible?  Women are so caring.  When women do something nice for me its because they care.  When men do, its cause they have ulterior motives.  Why are they like that?...I dont like to think this way but I do. 

Your questions are like me asking you when you stopped beating your dog: They are both based on incorrect conclusions and therefore they are irrelevant questions. Since you don't know all men, you can't possibly form a realistic opinion of all men. If you are asking why some men are selfish, the answer is the same as "why are some women selfish?". No gender has a monopoly on goodness or terribleness. I'm sorry your experiences have led you to meet so many selfish men. I wish I could introduce you to some good men.

You can't judge all men on some you've come across.  You say they're all jerks, they all treat women like objects, they don't have the ability to care but you don't know all men so how can you say that?  Not all women are caring as you claim them to be.  There are some uncaring, unloving, selfish women in this world too.   With men or women, they are individuals, they're all different, they aren't all made from the same mold.

If you have the same experiences with men over and over again, the one common denominator with all these guys is you.   It might be time to look inward at yourself, what is it about you that is attracting this kind of man?  What signals are you sending out, what is it about you that makes them feel they can treat you as an object?  Why do you allow guys to treat you badly? 

People teach others how to treat them, if you want respect from people then you don't allow disrespect, if you don't want to be treated as an object then you don't allow yourself to be treated as an object.  When you have self-respect, when you have self-love, when you care about yourself then you will find that in others too.  Everyone gets to choose what kind of people they want in their life whether it's friends, acquaintances, or a partner. 

Our body language, our attitude speaks loudly to others.  If you believe all men are jerks, if you believe men treat women as objects, if you believe they are incapable of caring then that's the kind of guy you're going to attract because that's what your expecting from men.