Guy Talk

but the thing is i do want a romance with him!

i deffinetly dont favour a long distance relationship ..i recently came out of one and even though the reason for it failing wasnt due to the long distance yet it can be frustrating...

anyways i really do feel like im just over analyzing or hoping on a lost cause.. i meet guys all the time and i am getting to know this guy right now ..he's great and all but i just cant help just wanting N instead.

i am a pateint person and i would wait for him till he can come over .. i just wanted to atleast stay in contact and chat and even talk on the phone till thats possible but i think he intentionally makes himself appear offline to me so i wouldnt know hes online.

anyways ok lets suppose he felt i didnt want the phone romance thing .. thats exactly y i called him the very next day to tell him how surprised i was at his sudden change in attitude and his msg and i made it clear that i wanted to go ahead with this and long distnace wouldnt be a problem and that id go visit him too etc i mean i was very clear that i DID want him..

plus i mean i think he's the one that blew me off now so what can i do im realllly lost here.. i mean i thought that id just forget about this but i havnt..

should i text him on his phone? say what? call him? also say what?

i dont wanna seem like im running after him so any ideas?!

“…but the thing is i do want a romance with him!”

I’m getting mixed messages from you and I’ll bet he’s getting them too. You said you told him, “…im concerened about having a long distance relationship and all.” Following which you told us, “i deffinetly dont favour a long distance relationship…”. Then you said you told him, “…long distnace wouldnt be a problem…” You also told us, “…i didnt want us to start talking over the phone before we meet…” before you said, “...i just wanted to atleast stay in contact and chat and even talk on the phone till thats possible…”. You also told him, “I think what you said makes perfect sense [just keeping it as friends]. Thats why I told u what i did today when u asked if i was ok with only chatting on facebook,” which sounded like agreement to me, since you didn’t mention his friendship proposition anywhere else in your e-mail. Then you said, “…i called him the very next day to tell him how surprised i was at his sudden change in attitude…”. Are you getting the picture? Here’s a girl who says she doesn’t want a long-distance relationship, doesn’t want to talk on the phone yet and agrees that they should be friends, and then she calls him on the phone to tell him she’s surprised because she wants a long-distance relationship instead of friendship. Huh?

You said, “…sometimes I wouldnt say hi myself because I didnt wanna appear too eager,” and “i was ofcourse dissapointed but i didnt want him to know it…” and “…i dont wanna seem like im running after him…”. I would be confused as hell and I’d feel certain that the girl was a game-player. I wouldn’t waste time with her. If you play hard-to-get you have to understand that some guys will get the message that you don't want to be "gotten".

You don't want to seem like you're running after him?  Then DON'T! 

He's made it perfectly clear that he's not interested.  Maybe because as the other poster suggested, you CONFUSED him.  In the future, you need to learn to be your natural self, be open and honest, and NOT play games with men.  That's what you did with this guy! He wants to talk on the phone, you won't talk on the phone, UNTIL it suits your purpose.

He lost interest, and can you blame him?  Learn from your mistake, and try being straight up and honest with guys. 

Unfortunately, YOU might want a romance, but he says he doesn't.  Move on.

well just to fill u in on wats happened since my last post if anyone's interested...

he has gone and deleted me from facebook even though i didnt try to talk to him so i dont know y he did that..anyways today i found out that he's put himself as in a relationship on facebook ! so i guess it wasnt my fault.. he did meet someone else and thats y he did all that changing his mind stupidity..anyways its his right to see anyone he likes and i wish him all the best but cant help but feell upset now

(((HUGS))) and I'm sorry that if that's what happened, then this is how you found out.

Please check out these articles, and maybe visit the Breaking Up Is Hard to Do board - I think they could both help you get over him and move on.

 
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