Ok, so I need some advice here. My sister is living in a dream land right now. That's the only way I know how to put this. This could get long, so I apologize in advance. Michelle is not my blood sister, our parents grew up with each other since the age of five. Michelle held me when I was born( she's 45), and I've held, and even been in the room when her kids were born, and watched all five of them grow up, as "Auntie Robyn". That's family to me. We even lived together for awhile. Just a little background, because in reality I am an only child, although I consider her my sister.
Anyway, as a lot of you know, I'm a newlywed, got married Sept. 19th. She was not my MOH, but she acted as one. She went to all my appointments, did everything I could ever have needed for me. I was fortunate to have a very nice wedding, my Mother was very generous. Michelle caught wedding fever I think, but it's not a good thing necessarily.
Her ex-Husband Randy, is in prison, I don't know the details, and Michelle and her kids live with her Mom. Randy also has third stage colon cancer, and the prison thing is a lifestyle, I've never been able to get straight answers. She has decided that she wants to marry Randy. Ok, fine. I know she has had feelings for him even thorough out her other marriage. He gets out soon. She is thinking so irrational though, it's so hard to support her. That's my problem.
They have no where to live, yet she is insisting she have her "dream' ring, which might as well be from Tiffany's ! The rings she has shown me are mostly between two and three carrots, plus she wants two diamond wedding bands as well. We went dress shopping, she is already picking out colors for the wedding, and guess who she wants as her MOH? Yup. Me. I understand fantasizing about "dreamy" wedding stuff, but she is for real! I mean it. I have tried on dresses, she has called venues, her dress is on layaway. This is not just wishing. The last time they were together, before he went to prison, it didn't work out! She visit's him, but the real world is different. It's all she can talk about, and, I want to say things like, hey, have you thought about waiting until he gets out to plan this? or, "Have you thought about waiting until you get your ring, and it's official, wouldn't that be more fun?". I've said things that are less direct, and she kind of blows it off. I thought this had something to do with the cancer, so I asked how he was doing, and she said he was in remission, grated I am aware that colon cancer is severe. I just feel she's living in la la land, and I can't even talk to her.
Every time I try to talk to her about something, she pulls out her wedding notebook. The girls (3 of her kids) have already picked out dresses. This can't be healthy for the younger one, she's only 11. I'm not bragging, but I have a little over 2 carrots with my wedding band and my engagement ring, and she points to my finger and says, honey, I'm gonna have that plus one! Meaning one more band. She has no where to live! Her kids live off food stamps! Randy is on disability! She's not kidding either! I'm trying my hardest to be supportive, but I am running out. Her oldest, who is Randy's daughter, is 21, she came to me and said, "Auntie Robyn, my Mom is acting nuts! she's (bleep) insane, you have got to talk to her I don't know what the (bleep) she is thinking" She loves her Dad too, so it;it's not that. Both of my nephew's said something as well. I feel like I can't say anything because she was always there for me, and always has been. I just feel like she needs a reality check, nothing mean, I just don't know, but it's so hard to support this, when I feel like this is a laps of judgement, and it came out of left field, right after my wedding, you know like maybe a little wedding fever?
I just don't know what to do, and all of you are so supportive, I thought I could vent, and maybe get some wisdom, and advice. I feel like an awful sister for not just being happy. He's not even out of prison yet though. Prison! What do I do? There has to be a way to be supportive, and also talk to her? Any opinion on this will help me so much, I'm so down on myself. Thanks. Sorry this was so long!
Love 
