Life After Betrayal

condensed story:  found out my H was having an affair mid march this year. My daughter then was 3 weeks old. We have been married for 3.5 years now. the affair started year after the wedding and lasted for 2 years. he is 34. and me - 33.

the question I am having however is very different. I'll give some facts befow

1) my H always had somewhat an elevated interest in abused people (I kind of always shrugged it of - I like crime stories and that does not make me criminal)

2) the OW was 16 at the time they started affair. she was abused when young by her brother (according to my h)

3) recently i hacked into OW gaming / email account  and what I saw scared me.. she always had 5 - 6 men in parralel (history there goes for sept 08)  and was into playing role games. most of the role plays were about professor and student.  with some of those men the game was where she pretended to be their daughter. I mean the daughter they sleep with. all of the chat history confirms what they have done sexually and what will plan to do - afterwards how that went etc etc. basically this girl likes playing a daughter to older men (and there are plenty of takers). i did not find correspondence with my h there as they communicated via different messenger.

4) in the same website she talks with her brother with whom she is clearly having sex regularly.. (and willingly)

My h and I are trying to stay together. However, this discovery makes me very concerned with regards to our daughter. What he might be capable of.... I dont think he would abuse her. but then again i did not think he would have an affair either. Maybe anyone could give me some advice please?

I have not approached him on this. I just dont know how to... and what to ask to get the truth..

if the gaming site is primarily set up for 'this reason' abuse, etc and your husband frequents the site, even if you found no interaction between the 2 of them - i would be gravely concerned.

i can understand why you are worried.

well the gaming account is hers. not his. (I am not aware if he has one - they met on different site which is more like facebook type).

its kind of teenager games site - which is clearly visited by some sick men. and she is seeking them out - like offering these games. My H says he did not have a clue how disturbed she was until very late in affair (hard to believe as A went on for 2 years..).  he also says he does not know that gaming site.

also previously I had found on our pc a picture she had sent to him when she was a kid - around 7 - 8 years old. again he claimed he has no idea why she sent it to him.

i'll try to raise it today in therapy.. will seek therapists view. surely she has now seen him for quite a while maybe she has an opinion..

I am worried I have to say.

melissa:

knowledge is power, it is good that you found all of this out. once you have all of the pieces it will be easier to make a decision