As I read this message, my heart broke. And then I felt so angry that someone would do these horrible things to their spouse--the person they are supposed to love and cherish. This is not healthy, it is not typical, and it should be acceptable. Obviously, you are very smart and you know that this is not okay.
My first recommendation is to get out, but that is easy to say to someone, but it is not so easy to do. It sounds like you are in an isolated situation, but if you can change that--start there. It is so important not to be isolated when in a relationship with a partner who is reeling out of control.Try to get friends around you--and family around you. You need support and he needs to see and know you are not alone and that there are people who are watching and who care about you.
Once you reconnect and put yourself in a non-isolating environment (and if this means changing jobs do it), begin to think about what you want the rest of your life to look like.
Do you eventually want a child? If a spouse is abusing a partner, the spouse could potentially abuse a child. So although the abortion was so very painful for you, one day you will be in a better situation and will be able to welcome a child into your life. It would be awful to expose your child to seeing you abused, and awful if that child was abused, right? Do you want to be healthy and in a healthy relationship someday? If so, please, find a good therapist and begin exploring your pain and why you are drawn to this man who thinks urinating on his partner is acceptable... Look around and actually interview potential therapists, though. There are good ones out there, but there are also bads ones--but this is so important for your future and future family. Do you want a circle of loving friends and family in your life? Abusive partners often try to isolate their partners and remove them from friends and family so they can get a way with their cruelty and abuse. So many things to ask yourself--but the biggest one is--- do you value your life? Do you want to live without mental abuse and the threat of physical abuse? If so, you will eventually need to leave this spouse. However, if you do not explore your pain and work through the memories of abuse, you may fall for another man who is looking for someone he can abuse.
So....
1. Remove yourself from the isolating environment. Please...
2. Share what is happening with a friend, a loved one, a family member.
3. Find a good therapist and make an appointment and show up.
4. Always know that there is someone for you to talk to and share your situation with.
5. Above all---you must know you deserve better.
Please, keep us informed on your situation. You are cared about--
Love 
