a guy's perspective

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logicalguy

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Sep-15

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a guy's perspective

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520.1

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logicalguy

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Sep-15 9:28 pm

OK - here is your chance to ask any questions of a guy you want and hear the truth, like it or not. Not all guys cheat - but about 50% do statistically. And women are almost equally guilty these days. Why do some and not others? Hard to say. I never have, and married 16 years. Have I been tempted? Of course, your eyes don't stop working when you get a girlfriend or get married. There are basically 2 kinds of cheating from a guy's point of view, the first is a pure physical thing that means nothing, and the second is an emotional-physical one. The first happens largely because the guy is impulsive, immature or isn't getting basic physical needs met, and isn't honest enough to say it and acts out stupidly. The real dangerous one is the second, when he actually starts falling in love with someone else. My view is its about communication - straight up totally honest communication - to ensure that each partner's needs are getting met. When communication breaks down, then problems will start.

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nicole_r90

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Sep-22

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a guy's perspective

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520.2 in response to 520.1

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nicole_r90

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logicalguy

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Sep-22 11:26 pm

Well I think my boyfriend is the first type of cheating...the purely physical...although he did lead her on I think to make her trust him to get what he wanted...he said he never had feelings for her though and she never meant anything to him except a bl-w job..but she was cool to talk to when her head wasn't in his lap....however, I don't get why he would lie about our relationship to make him seem like a victim and make me out to be this irrate and hard to get along with girlfriend...basically he told the girl his needs weren't being met and some other things that weren't true about our relationship...basically making me out to be the "big bad girlfriend" and him being the victim...I still can't accept what he did....he said he told her those things to make it easier to get what he wanted (she must have really been good at what she did). When he got caught he ended all communications with her. I told him if he cheated again, I was done with him and I meant that. I don't doubt he loves me, but how can he cheat and lie on me and something as special as our relationship?? I have tried to get past this, but I think I'm over it, and I flip out suddenly and we get into a huge argument.

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fivediamondwife

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Oct-6

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a guy's perspective

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520.3 in response to 520.1

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fivediamondwife

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logicalguy

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Oct-3 6:24 pm

My husband was a serial emotional cheater. He suffers from limerence. He liked the chemical highs that a new romance offers. The brain produces chemicals at the beginning of a relationship that makes you feel euphoric. He liked that feeling. He liked the fantasies and the "what if" opportunities that comes with an emotional affair. He liked the uncertainty and the highs of reciprocation. Each romance never lasted more than 3 years. He had to move from relationship to relationship to continue to get these "new relationship" highs.

He was basically acting like a single man until I found out. He walks the straight and narrow now.

FiveDiamondWife