Hot Topic: Destined for Divorce?

I don't know if my DH is just stupid, a sociopath (they take no responsibility either), or again, stupid but he takes ZERO accountability/responsibility for anything and I'm fed up. It's like being married to a 12 year old.

Yesterday I come in from work and notice that the house smells weird. I couldn't place it until 30 seconds later I noticed it was a major gas leak going on. As in the house was even hazy. I'm 9 months pregnant, we have 2 cats, 2 dogs, and he's in the house and the smell/haze is so strong there is no way that was going on for 30 seconds as he was claiming. I got furious because I thought "we are about to have a baby and he's going to watch it one day a week and he can't even notice this??????"

And why didn't he notice it?

Because he is obsessed with his laptop, tv, or phone--or all 3. He can't multitask, focus, etc. This isn't the first time. I have to repeatedly ask him to do something 3-7 times in a row and I get a "yea yea". He burns food (such as the pot he was trying to cook off the burnt part, thus the gas leak when the water boiled over and burned the flame out), food timer goes off and he doesn't pay attention for 30 min or later. I'm sick of it.

And what does he do because I yelled at him and said "what if we had the baby; get off the @#$# computer." He immediately screams at me saying "Forget noticing I cleaned the house and tried to scrub off the burnt part of the pot that YOU burned." ME?????? Hello, it's burned because he once again didn't pay attention and burned milk to the point of evaporation. I don't cook nor do I use the nonstick pots because of the burn factor.

Then he goes on and on screaming at the top of his lungs at me, mocking me because I said I bet I'll see what he was on the computer for (sports, friends, Facebook; because he was claiming it was work. It's rarely work).

He's on that computer some days from noon to 10pm. I mean come on. If I dare go on my computer upstairs to actaully do work like a website or game with friends, he comes up there and pouts and tells me to sit with him. Why sit with him? I do and he's either on the computer or I'm bored to death watching his lame shows or watching him literally scream at the top of his lungs and throw things because his stupid team is losing.

I don't know what is wrong with him. I was super tired and not feeling well (I'm due any week now) so I fell asleep upstairs and didn't want to even deal with him. He comes up and wakes me yelling how selifsh I am that he's alone downstairs and I should apologize for treating him like dirt. HA! He's the one that nearly killed everyone in the house and then blows it off as so what he made a mistake. This wasn't a "meh so what" mistake plus he wasn't even admitting how serious it was and why I was in a hissy about it.

To top it off he starts playing "you didn't even come downstairs to see if I was alright. You left the house with me in it."

Please. Cry me a @#$# river. I had to force him to open all windows and doors and turn on a fan. I had to tell him to let the dogs out. And I sat in there for a small bit with a rag over my face then started to feel sick so I left. HE CHOSE TO STAY DOWNSTAIRS ON THE COMPUTER. Why should I care? I drove around the neighborhood wasting time and getting fresh air and I called the gas company who said it could take a 1/2 hour to an hour to clear the gas. DH calls telling me to come home. I stopped by and it still smelled AND HE CLOSED ALL WINDOWS AND DOORS AGAIN. I left again (putting the dogs out while he sat on the computer IMing someone--probably or lawyer who is giving him divorce advice)." So me not caring is a bunch of b.s. He made his choice. I'm the one 9 months pregnant. Why should I stay?

This morning he sends me a lovely email totally blamming me and my behavior and how I can't be pleased with him trying to make me happy. I told him "trying to make me happy? How about I have a husband I can rely on with money (he doens't bring home a check or give me his share of bill money. It's all talk and no action) to now safety in the house. I'm totally doing everything on my own all the time and boo @#$# hoo about him playing the victim."

I swear, it took me everything not to grab that laptop and smash it outside. I'm so sick of him with that computer and his "waaaa I'm working" excuse. If he's working so friggen hard, where are the paychecks?

While I can see your point it boils down to him being overly doating when it suits him. That means kiss his @ss, appreciate evey last drop of effort, and never, ever criticise when he does something wrong.

He cannot accept responsibility for being a complete idiot. That's his problem. He does it with everything and turns it around like you're to blame. He's always been this way. It's never his fault. It's an excuse with everyone else's name attached.

No paychecks on and off--blame the economy and clients who don't pay on time (which may be true but he can't figure out a better way of doings things?)

Gas leaking because he didn't notice pilot was out--it's my fault that I said he was a failure already at being a parent (ok I was harsh but it was the first thing I though of when I realized he will be alone with the baby 1 day by himself). And let's focus on my mistakes (I once left a candle burning when I went out. Note taken now I obsess about checking everything from candles to cords to stoves when I leave the house or go to bed. We're talking 3-4 rechecks in 5 min)

Lack of college degree--well that was his grandma's fault for not paying his tuition and he had to "work" to pay his apartment. Um...no what he did was work odd jobs that he kept quitting, take is small inheritance and blow it on a stupid beater Corvette, then blew it on partying (we're talking when he was 18-24 years old). Funny how other people work 3 jobs AND go to school full time.

Can't hold down a job--well god forbid he has to work 9-5 at a desk or answer to someone. The only reason why I told him to start his own business. It was the only way I wouldn't see a revolving door. Heck, I'm the one charged with searching on the internet for client prospectives and doing his marketing. I'm the one who thought of the company name which everyone raves about and he put me in charge of naming the next company/products he wanted to do. Do I get paid for that???? NO! Even his potential partner said that I should because product/company naming is a talent and very expensive if you hired an agency.

Making sure bills are paid in full--I have to chase him down to pay things. I'm tired of seeing through the envelope window "LAST NOTICE" or seeing court orders for unpaid tickets. Even if it's as simple of an inconveneince of staying on hold for an hour to straighten out a billing mistake, he lets it go. How's $5,000 so far in late fee charges for the toll pass box. I know he always has it in his car hooked up but for some reason the toll machines aren't picking it up. Ok not his fault. But hello, they're saying you owe $5k in fees and will pull his license. He needs his license for his business. Does he think that it's no big deal? Does he think that the toll agency will just say "oh no big deal forget all charges." These people are real jerks and him letting it go for that long, why would they want to give up all fees? We don't have extra to our name (I do at only $1k after baby expenses). He has NOTHING to pay these bills.

This is why I'm fed up and angry. This is why I yell and he just is all "waaa why are you picking on me. You're just like your mother (favorite excuse to push my buttons).

37 years old going on 6.

Wow, he really has issues with responsibility, from being responsible and taking responsibility for his own actions, his own life, not to mention for you and the baby. I'm sure you're beyond your breaking point, especially being heavily pregnant, working, etc., and it's just not fair to you for him to continue behaving this way. He needs to man up and take responsibility for his life, and help you to take care of you so you both can take care of that baby, but I'm not sure that's going to happen, though only you can decide what's the dealbreaker here, and what your limit is for tolerating his immaturity. (((HUGS)))

You're right. I can't live on a revolving door action of complaints.

37, first time baby, $ issues, hassle of divorce....lots to think about

Thanks for listening.