Hot Topic: Destined for Divorce?

mom-sosad,

I can identify with your situation, and wish you the best when you break the news to your adult children.  And, I agree, that it should be easier to explain the situation to adult children - "should" being the operative word here.  It still isn't. 

Are your adult children close enough by that they might be pretty well aware of the problems in you and your H's relationship?  If so, they might already "know" without being told and are waiting for you to speak up before they do.  Do you think they will be "shocked" to find out that there is "trouble in paradise?"

This doesn't come in the form of advice, but my experience is that each adult child will react differently.  My oldest daughter just doesn't want to deal with it.  Since she is the only one out on her own, she can avoid the situation if she so chooses.  She accepts that while her father and I will go our separate ways, we will always be her parents.  My middle daughter vaccilates between being angry and spewing venom at the closest target (usually me) to simply climbing back into her own world.  My youngest daughter is behaving the most rationally about the separation and divorce, but her motives are questionable because she needs both me and her father now more than ever - emotionally and financially. 

Is there any particular reason why you have to move?  Or did I miss something in your original post?  It is my sincere hope that your telling your adult children about the situation will relieve you of the burden you have been carrying around with you.

Best wishes,

--Goddess