The loss of a husband's job, or cut in pay, is a very scary thing for a wife.
Girls are raised to believe that the man should take care of us, financially speaking. When that income drops, or ceases altogether, it suddenly turns the woman into the breadwinner. We simply aren't wired that way. I've seen this happen in two different marriages, and the consequences were nearly disastrous in both.
With my own marriage, I am already the breadwinner. When my husband lost his job, however, instead of being the "primary" breadwinner, I became the "ONLY" breadwinner. I gave hubby a week to lick his wounds, then I told him to get off his butt and find a job. Things were better as far as finding jobs goes. He was able to find a job within a couple weeks. We got a little behind in the bills but not too much. Everything turned out okay.
I have a close friend, who sold his business about three years ago. He was very excited...made a LOT of money on the deal, and at the age of 40, was embracing the opportunity to do something different. He invested the $$ wisely, and started real estate. Guess what? The real estate market went belly-up right after that. And suddenly, a guy who could sell ice water to an eskimo, couldn't sell the perfect home for anything. A couple of personal events also triggered some emotional difficulty. Unable to bring home enough to support his monthly expenses, he had to begin dipping into the investment account, which his wife didn't like. At one time, he had enough to pay off his mortgage, but she wanted to keep the money in investments for "security." The continued lack of real estate deals, and the stress from the wife, led him to drink excessively, and at one point developed suicidal thoughts. That's when I came into the picture...I'd known him about six years, and could tell he was sinking. I threw out a lifeline, offered to listen...one night, he nearly did something we would have both regretted...he had invited himself to my place (hubby was out of town), I offerred to meet him somewhere public...he decided to go home. We've never talked about that night since then...better left unsaid, you know? Then later on the market crashed and he lost about a third of his investments. A couple months ago, two different things he'd been working on came to fruition within about two weeks of each other. He's going to be fine, financially. I had to give him some space and allow him to rebuild with his wife...he admitted he was focusing on the wrong thing...today, he and his wife are still together, better than they have been in awhile, and he and I are still close friends. But one wrong decision could have made a huge difference. I have no regrets...I don't regret helping him, suggesting that he confide in someone in whom he could trust. I don't regret standing by his side and going to bat for him with some other things. And I don't regret sending him home that night.
The reason I'm going into such great detail is to let you see how this can spiral way out of control before you know it. Do you have insurance that will cover counseling? I ended up in counseling during this time, I had to pay a copay of $13 each session. Well worth it. If not, what about church? Many pastors will provide counseling to you and your wife free of charge. My friend actually spoke with his pastor about his issues he was having at home, and guilt related to his weakness with our friendship.
Is there any way she will let you stay there while you work on things? I just don't see how living apart will help.
Love 
