Married Without Romance

My wife says she is going through menapause and that she has very little to no sex drive.  Our last child just moved out of the house, so we are empty nesters.  She seems to be depressed.  Everything little thing bothers her.

I don't think I can take it much longer.  We have been married for 24 years.  But, the romance and intimacy is not there.  I have left her love notes, cooked her a meal, washed the dishes, vacuumed the floors, etc.  But, nothing is good enough for her.

She is not willing to go to counseling.  She said that the ONE time that we went about 8 years ago didn't do anything, so she doesn't want to try now.  She just tells me that I need to read a book.

I don't want to leave her, but I can't take this much longer.

HELP!

Many women still have an active sex life after menopause. If she is not willing to go to counseling, would she consider speaking to a doctor about her problem? The problem might be physical in which case her gynecologist might be able to help.

I also don't know what book she wants you to read. If she is asking you to read a particular book, then she probably believes it will help you to understand her better. Reading the book can't hurt. At least she will not be able to complain that you haven't read it. Give it a shot. You may be surprised. It may give you an opening to talk about the problem in a way that she will listen and respond to. At the very worst, you'll have just taken a few hours out of your life to read the book.

Thanks for the initial feedback.  I will check out WebMD about Menapause......

I was shocked last night when she told me that she was planning on going to individual counseling for herself.  When I asked her about eventually going together for counseling, she said that she would be open to that.  But, she said that I need to go to individual counseling to work out some issues myself.

I don't know if any of this will help.  It is VERY HARD to not have any physical touch or emotional connection.  She doesn't like to kiss, hug, etc.  She turns her back to me as soon as she quits reading and turns out the light to go to bed for the night.  No kiss good night.  No cuddling.  It is EXTREMELY frustrating.

She has been seeing a Gynecologist for years.  Her doctor has been trying her on different hormone medicines.  She is also on some medicine for occasional anxiety.

So, am I supposed to accept that her hormones are out of wack for the next 5 or 10 years and that no sex, no touching, no intimacy, no romance, no emotional connection is what I have to live with????