Married Without Romance

As the days and months go by, I am starting to really believe that I married someone who wanted an obedient slave rather than a partner. I have found myself for a long time now becoming resentful of almost everything that my husband does. I come from a family with a very hard working husband and father, so it is hard for me to be in a relationship that is so contradictory.

My husband has got all sorts of medical and emotional issues that he is either in denial about, or just ignores and it is taking a serious toll on me. When he was first diagnosed with diabetes, I worked really hard to be supportive and understanding of all of the issues that came with it. Now I feel like he is nasty and impatient and sometimes just flat out mean to me most of the time. He says that he has no idea what I am talking about, and that its just him. He says that I am supposed to be his best friend and just deal with it. Most of the time I try to just deal with his mood swings, but things are getting worse. It has gotten to the point where now when WE get home from work, he just plops down on the couch and barely moves until it is time to go to sleep. Meanwhile, I am taking care of our son, chores, dinner, getting ready for work the next day, and any other incidentals that come along.

He says that I am crazy, because I have gotten to the point where I am angry all the time and I am impatient with him because most nights I can't even get him to get up off the couch to change our son's diaper while I am trying to prepare dinner.

There is just so much more and I am so confused. Can anyone help. I need some advice.

Hello,

It's just my opinion but it sounds like your husband has shut down and wants to dwell in self pity and has become comfortable with this so much that he doesn't want to change what's become so familiar to him.  It's become easier to sweep his problems under the rug and not deal with them rather than to face them head on.  It's probably going to take some serious discussion, counseling, threat to leave or even leaving the relationship for him to see that he needs to make change and even then he still may not change.  You can't change him, he has to want to change and make the change himself.  This is especially true due to the fact he either doesn't want to admit there is a problem or really and truthfully doesn't realize or see the problem with your unhappiness in the relationship right now.