Pornography & Your Relationship

Is his porn use interfering with your sex life?  Would you feel that there was a problem with the relationship if you didn’t know about the porn?  Are you wishing for more sex while he chooses porn over sex?  Who has the higher libido in your relationship?

You mentioned watching porn “again.”  Was there a previous problem with porn in the relationship?

Lots of couples include porn as part of their sex lives, both together and alone.  My wife buys me DVDs occasionally.  We sometimes watch together and I sometimes watch alone.  She doesn’t watch it alone, but doesn’t have a problem with me watching it alone.

If he has a higher libido, then he may simply be using porn to intensify arousal to help relieve frustration through masturbation.  Would you prefer that he rely on you for every time he needs an orgasm?  Are you living apart, then maybe it’s a safe sexual outlet for when you aren’t available.

You’ll find a variety of views here.  Some don’t think that porn is acceptable at all.  Some, like myself, believe that it can actually be a positive thing, though some guys do have problems with it.

Well, I think you are going to need to buckle down and have a serious talk with your boyfriend Reba. It might be a little painful but if you don't, you will only have more questions and more resentment towards him for his actions.

Ask him why he lied to you about the porn. Tell him what you are going through right now and why you don't like it. tell him it makes you question your place in the realtionship with him and creates an environment in your relationship that makes you feel unsure and unsafe in it with him. You're not wrong to be thinking and feeling the way you do. Alot of women do consider porn a detrament to their relationship. Don't accept it just because you think you should.

If he agreed not to look at porn and now is, he is breaking his promise to you and that's not cool. He can't expect you to trust him and believe him on things if he hides and lies about things. He needs to be open and honest and aware.

I know you said money is tight so I suggest getting some kind of outside party for counceling invovled. Perhaps a local church offers couple friendly groups?

I think you are going to get some responses from here that are going to tell you porn is okay and that your boyfriend loves you so much and that should make the porn okay to view. But that still won't fix your problem. So while I am sure your boyfriend does love you, it doesn't matter much in the face of his porn use and betrayal.

Before you decide to have this talk with him i suggest writing down your thoughts and how you want to approach the subject.