Snooping & Jealousy

So last night my boyfriend and I were having a great night. We hadnt spend that much time together inahwile so we being very affectionate with each other.  We got invited to this bar we both never went to and when we walked in he apprantly knew the bartender and began talking to her for about a good 10 minutes before introducing me. Thats a little weird for him so I kinda was wondering where he knew her from because btw she was sooooooooooo pretty. Blond hair blue eyes skinny wearing a corset. She was initmadating and I started to feel insecure that he wasnt being as affectionate as he was before the bar. One comment led to another and before I knew it we were fighting about this girl

Turns out the girl is his first girlfriend ever.Lost his virginity too...everything (Heres some background info...we have had fights about this girl before i ever even met her. We fought that he mentions her a little too much and he probably still has feelings for her. He talked about this girl like she was God and they hadnt even seen each other in years)

So the rest of the night was a lot of fighting . I mean he kept trying to reassure me that he had no feelings for her and only wanted me but I couldnt help feeling like he kept looking at her . And I know im being over jealous and a little crazy but Im nervous that now that he seen her again and sees how great she looks hes gonna try to contact her. I know they have each others screenames and idk.

I know this is so shallow but Im just used to looking at girls hes been with and Ive always been more attractive than them which is why this is stressing me out...

Looks shouldnt matter this much but I cant get this out my mind....any advice?

It wouldn't bother me so much what she looks like exactly but you mention that he said once in a fight that he "probably still has feelings for her"... Yet last night he tried to assure you he did not.

I wonder why you would bother with a man who has feelings for another woman at all. I don't think jealousy is irrational when you've been told that he isn't over his ex-girlfriend. That's a serious problem. I don't know how long it's been since you've been having fights over her, do you still think he may actually have feelings for her?

Oh okay, I was completely under the impression that he verified he still had feelings for her.

But do you honestly believe he has feelings for her still? Is there a good reason for that? She may be gorgeous but gorgeous isn't everything. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's absolutely true. I wonder if you two can approach this issue from a standpoint of you feeling uncomfortable with how often he talks about her, rather than just starting fights. Fighting doesn't solve anything, it's two people feeling desperate to be heard and understood and not willing to see the other person's perspective.

So why exactly do you fear he has feelings for someone else? What is the reason behind your jealousy? Do you have a history of being cheated on at all?

No Ive never been cheated on its my BIGGEST FEAR. Every single friend of mine has been cheated and I seen the pain they have been through. All their stories have put such fear in me. One guy went to the "bank" but really went to his ex girlfriends house had sex with her and came back home to his current girlfriend all within 30 MINUTES! Its so easy for some guys to be unfaithful and some dont even feel remorse about it.

My boyfriend admits to cheating on his girlfriend but claims he never had strong feelings for them/never toke them seriosuly and would never do that to me.

With the facts- lots and lots of men cheat. and his history...add in a very pretty girl from the past equals extreme worry.

And there is no reason that I think he may have feelings for her. Maybe strong attraction is the better word which is a guy really needs to be unfaithful