Snooping & Jealousy

My fiance and I have been together for 2 years and although he has never given me a reason not to trust him, lately I just have that nagging gut feeling that something isn't right. We have had a lot of problems since the beginning of our relationship and it's taken a toll on both of us. However, I have never questioned his commitment to me.

But, I've noticed several things lately that concern me. For example, he joined Facebook a few months ago and has become obsessed with it. He checks it every day after he gets home from work. Even when we were away for a week visiting his mom when she had surgery, not a day went by that he didn't use her computer to get on Facebook. It makes me wonder if he's anticipating messages/updates from a special someone. He claims he has the same password for all of his accounts that we use to log into the computer, but when I tried to log into his Facebook account, I kept getting an "incorrect password" message. So obviously his Facebook password is NOT the same as it is for everything else.

Also, he is attached at the hip to his cell phone...literally. He always has it with him and it's always on vibrate. Also, he even takes it into the bathroom when he showers. However, if he knows that we're going to shower together, the phone sits in the other room.

I hope I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but my ex-husband cheated on me several times and each time I became suspicious because he was acting secretive with his cell phone.

The facebook thing doesn't bother me. I'd say most people I know check it at least every day. I can't comment much on the password.

But taking his cell into the bathroom while he showers alone but leaving it out when you're showering together indicates to me that there is an extremely good chance there's something on there he doesn't want you to see. I've read a few posts here from men who have done that and there is ALWAYS something they're hiding.

Have you asked him about it?

Well, I don't think the Facebook thing alone is a good indication of cheating. I know many, many people who are addicted to Facebook but it has nothing to do with cheating. I use Facebook but I don't have a desire to constantly post status updates every 5 minutes like some people do. Honestly, I think it's mostly out of boredom that people form such an attachment to Facebook.

But the way he is with his phone is a little suspicious. If it were me, I'd simply confront him on it and ask for a reasonable explanation. Consider not only what he says in response but also how he acts.

Well, women tend to really have a nose for the wind changing so you probably should keep an eye out.

Think about this.  When I come home, I leave my cell phone anywhere.  Sometimes I have to call it to find it!!  That 's what someone does who has nothing to hide...

What the others said about Facebook is true, but has he kept it a total secret from you?  My current husband had a SECRET  Myspace where he communicated with his exes that I stumbled upon while we were dating.  He wasn't cheating, but there was no reason to keep this stable of women to chat with!  Do you have a Facebook account?  If you do, you can look someone up, and usually you can see their list of friends....that will tell you if there are any women on there that you don't know...I advise you to at least do that.

There's nothing wrong with doing some investigating to protect yourself.  If you ask him outright, he won't tell you anyway if he is doing something and it will just put his guard up to hide things better.   Sounds sneaky, but as you can see, I have had problems before...

From my personal experience, I would be worried about the cell phone situation.  I had the same thing happen with my STBXH.  He started getting very secretive with his cell phone, it never left his side and it was always on vibrate.  I completely trusted him but my gut told me something was going on.  I was right, a few months later I finally got to his phone and there were tons of text messages from a co-worker he had been having an affair with for several months. 

I hope for your sake that I am wrong but trust your gut.  If you get a chance to  check his phone I would bcuz if you confront him on it, he probably will not be honest.  I did ask my STBXH and he lied straight to my face.  Good luck