Let's Talk about Sex

Ok here's the deal. I have orgasmed. I dated a boy for two years, and, though it was not often, I occasionally was stimulated to orgasm, almost ALWAYS over the underwear, mostly even over my jeans. Then we split, and for two years I was basically frigid. Didn't touch myself, or allow anyone else to. I became intimate with someone later, though we never dated or had sex, but they (though reputationally having a lot of sexual prowess) could never get me orgasm through either manual or oral stimulation. I figured it was just psychological, seeing as how I couldn't get him to actually commit anything to me and was never fully comfortable.

I could NEVER masturbate to orgasm. UNTIL I re-discovered the magic of porn. Then, by watching that, and by manually, rhythmically rubbing over my underwear, I would ALWAYS orgasm, ALWAYS, within two minutes. Two more years later, I am now with a very good man that I'm comfortable with, and have opened up sexually in a lot of ways. But I can't orgasm. Not without my porn. I don't want it to be this way, as porn gives me no emotional satisfaction along with my orgasm, like I got to know very briefly with the intimate, sweet orgasms I reached with my first boyfriend. My guy now is exceedingly sweet, calls my beautiful and sexy often and makes me believe it, and went down on me for a total of an HOUR. Though it felt amazing, I could not climax. I'm frustrated. I'm pre-occupied with it, which I know does NOT help. But I don't know what to do, and feel incapable of reaching my orgasm without stupid porn. Any suggestions?

Sex is NOT about orgasms.......it's about pleasure!  Until and unless you forget about orgasms and start learning to enjoy the pleasure........it's not going to happen.

Your largest sex organ is your brain......and unless your brain is in the right place, you won't have orgasms.  Stay away from the porn, and concentrate on the pleasure you have with this guy.  Orgasms don't make the sex good.........good sex makes the orgasms happen.

Forget them.......don't even think about orgasms......just think about the pleasure you're having, and lose yourself in that pleasure.  It's not the destination, it's the journey.

I agree with the others ~ give up the porn for a bit and enjoy the experience. Thinking about reaching a destination isn't where your mind should be .... allow yourself to get caught up in what you're feeling and sharing, try to let your mind wander to the same places it does when you're watching porn.

You might also find that you can get yourself quite worked up by pleasuring him for a while. By the time he switches over to you, you might be very close to the edge already.