discussion title:
What do I call my common law?
message #:
13187.13 in response to 13187.11
similar here.
I've been with my boyfriend 8 yrs , however i do not look at him that way I view him as my husband and he views me as his wife , even tho we do not have that piece of paper stating that we are legally married .
It's been 7 years,...just starting year 8 I guess....
At first I had two reasons for hesitency RE: legal marriage:
1. financial reasons (he had lots of debt, etc)
2. his exW was VERY hostile/intrusive/(I could go on and on) and, while he *had* to be tied to her somewhat because of kids.....the only reason I *had* to agree to have this (explitive deleted) in my life was if I stayed with him............so, ....I was just NOT ready to commit to that!
Since then....
He developed better boundaries with exW....and that's not a burning issue.
The financial stuff....I feel better about, and think there are legal ways to "protect" myself from ill effects of his debt if married......
but now....
I feel somewhat like what I read in a magazine article about Goldy Hawn and Kurt Russell years ago......they had been "living together" something like 15 years at the time.....and were perfectly happy.....and were afraid "something" might change if they changed the relationship by marriage......
And I feel alot like that as well....there are a few things I"d like the "advantage" of marriage for....
and...hah!....this post alludes to the NUMBER ONE reason on my list:
It would be so much simplier to just refer to my sweetie as "my husband"....rather than "my sweetie"..."my SO'.....or, what I frequently say, "my husband, if we were married"..... (a bit of a mouthful!...LOL)...!! !!
Love 
