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discussion title:
 

Moving way too fast??

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  13233.1
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  j.clu
date:
  Oct-22 1:23 pm

Hello. I am male, got a tough situation that needs good advice.  I just met her 3 weeks ago, had our first "date" 4 days later.  I met her thru some random friends, and we got along right then and there.  Turns out we know alot of the same people so her friends are my friends.  I've asked around what others thought of her, and the overwhelming response was she nice and has always been alone. (lonely?)

After our date, we went back to her place and she asked if I wanted to stay the night.  Specifically noting, no sex, which I agreed.  We kissed and made out, and things started to get hot and heavy...so I jumped up and left...apologizing on my way out. 

Saw her the next day, where we spent all day long enjoying each other's company.  I ended up staying that night, still no sex.  The next morning we did...and have every night (or morning since) ,which has been way more than I planned or expected or used to.  I have since been staying with her for past 2 weeks EVERY NIGHT!  She says she enjoys having me in bed there with her (so do I!) and a lot of the time, we just cuddle.  I'm always asking her if she wants me to go home, but she just wants me to stay, always.  She calls when she leaves work (2 hours before me) and asks me to hurry to her saying she misses me and the cycle goes over and over.  A few of the days, I have been sneaking away from work early to see her, making dinner and hanging out.  Is this relationship doomed?

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discussion title:
 

Moving way too fast??

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  13233.2 in response to 13233.1
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  j.clu
date:
  Oct-22 3:26 pm

Well, my question is are you serious about this person? If so, then no, I don't think it's moving that fast. I take that you are worried because that's why you're wondering if it will work..To me, itt's not like you had sex with her on the first date. I think you're just a little too worried. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We had only 4 dates before we became intimate, and 6 months later I moved in with him. We have been together ever since and planning on getting married one day and spending the rest of our lives together. Whenever I looked back on it, I don't regret anything that happened. I think it all happened for a reason, but I do believe love can only happen if you're with the right person. If the person doesn't love you or feel the same way about you, you will get hurt but just be prepared for it and don't beat yourself up for it. I have had many bad relationships before my boyfriend, and I was worried like you at first, but when it comes to the right person, you will end up happy and everything will fall into the right places.. If you really feel uncomfortable, maybe you can try to talk to her about slowing things down a bit but make sure you let her know you're doing it because you want the relationship to work. That way she won't feel dissappointed or like you're just using her. Otherwise, if you're serious about this person, you should just let it happen naturally, if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out, don't worry too much or you'll ruin it. sorry i'm not good with advices, but i hope this helps good luck to you
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discussion title:
 

Moving way too fast??

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  13233.3 in response to 13233.2
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  j.clu
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date:
  Oct-22 3:42 pm

i do like this girl, alot! ..and yes I hope this relationship will work. I am concerned about the fast pace we are going...its only been a few weeks.  I'm afraid the consistant pattern we are taking will hurt when I tell her I want to stay at my house one night for a change.  She might get upset.

More about me, my last serious relationship was over 4 years ago...and we dated for like 6 years but didnt move in together until after dating for a year.

I am not sure how her last relationship went..or how long ago it was...or how long they dated for.  I havent asked her much about that b/c Ive always been told not to bring up past relationships.

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discussion title:
 

Moving way too fast??

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  13233.4 in response to 13233.3
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  j.clu
date:
  Oct-22 3:55 pm

If you really like this girl and you really have good intentions towards her, then u should talk to her be honest and tell her how you really feel. make sure you tell her what your intentions are that you do want this to work. if she's mature enough she will understand. you never know if she feels the same way unless u talk to her. maybe she's doing the same thing you're doing..maybe she may want to slow things down too but can't do it because she's afraid of hurting your feelings. u never know unless u talk to her. any relationship that works consist of good communications. and let her know what's on your mind. if she's mature enough she will take it and understand. sometimes things can be hot and heated in the beginning of the relationship but everything eventually will slow down if you get comfortable with each other.
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discussion title:
 

Moving way too fast??

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  13233.5 in response to 13233.1
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  j.clu
date:
  Oct-22 6:08 pm

Hi! I don't think you are necessarily moving to fast, but you definintely need to think about what's going to happen when one of you wants time to go out with your friends (without the other person) or when you want to go back to your place for a night or two. If you were to tell her you wanted to stay home tonight, would she get upset or mad? I'd say to talk to her about it and go from there.

 

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