Living Together

yup..that's alot of time spent commuting...although , yes, many do that and more...

how about looking at your more long range plans.....you mention a family....do you forsee still working fulltime at current job if/when that happens?  And, if not, ...is there a reason why you two need to move there right now? 

EG, if your longer term goal is to have a family and home out there.....and work part time or something.....maybe postpone shopping for homes and stay where you are... saving for a larger down payment for the next year or so....THEN move?

Of course...who knows anything re: economy/housing market/job stablitly, etc etc.

(Also: remember to factor in the cost of gas/wear/tear on car etc into your pro and con list...)

I suppose you could try the train some days....get a good novel to read, (think of it as a half day "vacation" reading your novel...!!)...and take the train one day a week to give yourself a break from driving (even though 4 HOURS on it total )....and see how that went? 

Another consideration.....is there any way you could spend a day a week or so at home working?  SOME types of jobs are conducive to this....?  Also....some employers....if they really value you...are more conducive to trying to make that work...... ...(and, if you love your job but are newer there....staying there another year THEN moving and asking to work at home some might go over better?)

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I know exactly what you're talking about. I live in London, UK - rather, I work in the City of London (very central) and live in the countryside area called Hertfordshire, about 45 mins - an hour away from where I work by train. Everyone commutes at my work - someone here does about 2 hours each way.

 Now... I too love the countryside and couldn't imagine living in central London, even if I could afford ludicrously overpriced tiny properties it offers. London sucks the soul out of you if you're in it 24/7 lol - or I must be getting very old!

I personally couldn't do more than around 1.5 hours commute each way. 3 hours on the train a day is normal by London/NYC standards IMO. In fact I do tend to sometimes spend that much time on the trains if there are delays on the tube (underground).

The train journey to work would be 1 h 15 mins one way? Straighforward or with changes? How many changes? Cost? I say if it's a straightforward hour and fifteen mins one way with  one/no changes, and if the cost is worth it in relation to what you will earn, absolutely go for it.

I commuted for a couple of years. And would NEVER do it again.
The only way I'd move away from the city now would be if my parter and I could both find jobs local to where we lived.

You know, I'm worried that your partner isn't taking your concerns seriously. The 'she'll be right' attitude is very worrying. These are YOUR concerns and they are VALID concerns. It's like he's belittling your issues so that he can persue his own dream.

His him not taking your concerns seriously something which has happened before?