Living Together

My boyfriend and I have been together officially for a little over 2 months now. We've known/dated each other for about 6 months. Recently he asked me if I'd consider moving in together down the road, which I whole-heartedly agreed to.

Backstory: I lived with a boyfriend my senior year of college and was engaged to another boyfriend of mine since then. I am no stranger to serious, mature relationships. And my relationship with Nick is in a completely different ballpark from my past relationships. We are completely compatible... and for the first time in my life, I truly feel that I have met my soul mate. Even though I was previously engaged, I've never been with someone who completes me and makes me a better person just by being with me [until Nick came into the picture].

Our reason for moving in together is simple... we love spending time together. I generally spend my entire weekend at his place...spending every waking minute together. To be honest, we're completely enamoured. When he asked me if I'd consider moving in together, he told me that I make everything better...from grocery shopping to cleaning the apartment. And I feel the exact same way about him.

There are a few things that concern me... the first being that I'm concerned that family and friends will feel we're rushing into it. For Nick and myself, it seems like the natural next step and it just feels right. We can't get enough of each other...and as they say in When Harry Met Sally "when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." Having been engaged before, I just don't want people to get the wrong idea and think I'm just boy-crazed or something like that.

We've discussed marriage and the path ahead and we're planning to move into our own apartment in February [at which point we'll have been together for 6 months]. I've read all the articles on how you shouldn't move in together and how couples that lived together before marriage have a higher divorce rate. I want to do everything I can to make this work. Nick is the most considerate, caring, and supportive man I've ever met. He's amazing and we both put our relationships as a top priority.

Should I listen to the articles on how bad it is to move in together? I've lived with someone before and loved it while it lasted. Or should I throw caution to the wind, ignore what others think and move in with the love of my life?

Re: marriage: been there, done that, am not planning to again, very happy living together with my partner of coming up to 6 years - won't comment on the marriage angle as I'm not interested in it at all.

Some years back I would have told you that moving in at only 6 months together isn't a wise thing to do. You don't really know each other, you've just met, you need to know who your bf really is blah blah blah. I've changed my mind since then,  with age. I  am now convinced that moving in together will essentially show you whether you should BE together in the first place. Two people who are compatible on all important levels, are at the same stage in life and are equally into each other as intimate partners and people will adjust and find ways to co-exist whether they move in at six or 26 months. On the other hand, if two people are wrong for each other the r-ship won't survive regardless how much time they spend together before moving in. IMHO and experience anyway.

It is ultimately your decision. I wish you all the best whatever you decide.

Well, you are rushing things. Big time. That's just a fact, it's tremendously early in the relationship to take that step. If you decide to do it, you're playing the odds; generally, and for a myriad of reasons, couples that move in together too quickly don't work out. They don't give the honeymoon period of a relationship enough time to wear off, and they haven't spent enough time really evaluating the relationship based on time and experience together for it to be a terribly informed decision.

So if you decide to move in together in February, and you really want to go for it, understand that you're going against statistics and yes people will think you're rushing it. Make decisions based on what you really want, what's best for you, and do it without regret or reservation - Or don't do it at all.

I personally think it all depends on the couple. There are going to be people that think it's a great idea and there will be people that think it's a bad idea, but really all that matters is what the two of you think.

I have heard from other posters on iVillage that once they moved in with their BF, it seemed like marriage got pushed off. So, if marriage is important to you, I would definitely talk to him before you move in together and be sure that you are on the same page with things.

Before you move in together, I would also talk to him about finances and who will be responsible for paying for what. Discuss whether you will keep separate accounts or have a joint account just for the bills. Some couples split things 50 50, others split it based on who makes more money. Also, look at how much debt each of you has (if any).

Thank you to mom2jess_n_ky for my beautiful siggy!