Long-Distance Relationships

I am currently in a Long distance relationship ( whom i met Dec 2008) for 7 months with a guy from UK ,lately, We have decided to close the gap with the best valid options would be for me to move over to uk to stay with him ...

hence,We ve mapped out different solutions
We have resourced through different options of visas for me to live with him, but none of such visas seem suitable , We also discussed the last options of working illegally in uk.

i am currently taking a vocational course in singapore but decided to pursue higher educations in uk, however, the fees in most colleges (UK) seem to post a major problem for jobs, and my current wage could not support my overseas studies at all ..

We both love each other very much, and longing to be together one day, the pain and loss fo being apart seems unbearable each day...

We been having frequent arguments about him going out party whilst we are apart.. which is getting worst each time when we see each other, so i suggested a one week break of not communicating to each other, yet i know it might not resolve to any problems which we are facing at the moment... what should i do.. i have spoken with consllor about such issue... 

The main problem I have trust issues in about him having parties and socialising which i reckon he might meet someone new eventually if we still persist in LDR...  i have been worrying about this issues , pls help i can't go to sleep without crying my eyes out each night...

is separation the only way to resolve the issue?

NOTE: the reason i am jealous was i couldnt feel his presence whilst we are miles apart, and i can't help but notice females taking glimpses at him which caught his attentions, thus he thinks im being unreasonably jealous, he wont let me explain my reasons but constantly citing that i got jealous for no apaprent reasons.

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 Away for a week break from relationship

Welcome to the boards.

I'm not very familiar with moving from one country to another, but I strongly recommend not doing anything illegal. It won't pay off in the long run.

Does his going out to party bother you because of the partying in general or just because you don't trust him? Trust if very important in all relationships, especially long-distance ones. Have the two of you talked about his partying? Do you know why it is that you don't trust him?

Ending the distance probably won't end his partying, so if you really have a problem with that part of who he is, moving to be with him isn't going to change that. You can't change someone else. It sounds like the two of you need to really talk about his partying and your trust issues, before planning to move.

I hope you'll stick around the boards and let us know how things go.

Thank you to andie646c for my beautiful siggy!                                                            Thank you to leecat2008 for my beautiful siggy.                                                                                                                                                                                         

Hello,

I am sorta in the same boat as you are, just insert America and Australia as the respective countries. 

The thing is I trust my man to do what he wants and that he won't do anything to hurt me.  I like it that he tells me when he is going out and what he is doing. There is no way I would start being possesive and try and tell him what he could and couldn't do. He has a life there and I don't expect for him to sit there and not have one because I am not there. We will have our time together when I get there and even then I see his life altering some but I still won't be there to tell him what he can and can not do. He is a grown man and can decide for himself. Like Stacey said you have to trust him. I am sorry if you don't there really isn't much of a relationship there. This is something a seperation won't cure. The problem will still be there when y'all resume talking. Y'all must talk about it and try and come to a compromise or some way to resolve it.

As  far as doing anything illegal to move where he is, that could turn into something bad. If yoyu go there and y'all decide that it is a good thing and what you want to do for a long time. It makes becoming a citizen harder when you are there illegally. Not to mention if you get caught, they can deport you and deny you to return. So doing something illegal could do a lot more damage then good.

I am looking at for Australia they have a Visa that is for people who are intending to get married. You can see if they have one of those. You can than go see if y'all are compatible on that Visa and then go from there (change the type of Visa, or actually get married).

Y

I am desperately seeking for help :( :( :( i really couldnt take this suggestions ( HIS) :( as a form of breaking up

The first thing to think about is can your issues be resolved? If you honestly can't resolve these issues, it is best to let the relationship go and give yourself time to heal. I would send him an e-mail with my thoughts on our issues that need to be resoved and go from there.

I'm curious as to why you've lost all your friends? Is it because of your relationship with your SO or other reasons?

Some people can not handle being in a LDR. If he is telling you that he can't handle the distance, then he is one of those people. I know it sucks to get started with someone only to have it not work out, but sometimes that is how things go.

So, I would take time to think about how you feel your issues need to be resolved. Send him that e-mail and wait for his repsonse. If the two of you can resolve your issues, only then I would discuss your relationship and the distance.

Thank you to andie646c for my beautiful siggy!                                                            Thank you to leecat2008 for my beautiful siggy.