Long-Distance Relationships

Hello everyone,

I’m new here and looking for a little advice. I meet my boyfriend about a year and 4 months ago. I am American and he is Jamaican. I can only go to visit him once to twice a year and he is still in the process of getting his visitors visa. We would like to be together more and eventually want to get married. We are having a hard time figuring out how to do this. We have looked into the different kinds of visas and the only possibility we can come up with is he gets a visa where we would have to get married within 30 days or so of him being here. The major problem with this is I do not make enough money to support the both of us. I can barely support myself. He doesn't make enough in his country to support me either. If we try it the US he will not be able to work until he gets a temp work permit and in the mean time I need to prove to them that I can support us. In addition all the processing fees that they make you pay add up to a lot of money. I feel hopeless; that the reason we aren't together is my inability to make enough money. Do we just stick it out until something gives way or is there another way to be together? Has anyone been in this situation? Is it even possible or are we kidding ourselves. I love him and want to be with him but just cant figure out how to. Thanks for your help...

I remembered hearing something about a fiancee visa so I checked, and here is a page that explains it:
http://www.fiancee-visa.info/fiancee_visa_requirements.html

If you qualify, this would allow him 90 days to live in the country before you had to get married rather than 30 days.

As far as the financial situation, all I can suggest is for you both to save up and maybe get an additional job if you have to. It is tough in this economy.

Have you considered looking into financial aid and going back to school? You could be together after you were done with school, or you might even be eligible for student visas if one of you wants to study in the other's country.

Welcome to the boards! I'm not very familiar with the process for obtaining Visas or which Visas to obtain and when to obtain them. Have you tried calling someone that handles the Visas to see what is the best thing to do in your situation? Sometimes talking to someone that works in that area is better than trying to figure it out on your own.

As far as being unable to support him, I think that is something major to consider and definitely a reason to put off a move on either person's part until you are able to do so. If the plan is for him to come here, then he should start putting as much into savings as he can.

I wouldn't suggest jumping into a marriage situation unless you are certain that he want to get married.

I'm sorry I can't be more help. I hope you can figure things out. I also hope you'll stick around and continue to post with us. As you learn more about what it takes for someone to move from one country to another, you would be able to provide a lot of information to others as well.

hi i am also in a relationship like urs, i met my bf online and he lives in america and me in the uk please dont give up or talk like that i have ur same concerns about how we will b together but if u truly love each other and r meant to b then it will happen. If u want to talk or have any questions id be happy to help if i can even if its just for a bit of support as i know how hard these relationships can be

jox