Domestic Abuse: New Beginnings

I'm having a problem with all of this right now and need some advice.

Blaming the Victim:
By implying that you were somehow responsible for what happened to you.

I'm now seeing a counsler and time before last when i went to see her we had talked about that i wanted my H to leave and that he wanted to leave the state that we live in to go back home with his MOMMY, brother & sisters but he says that none of them would come and get him or send him money. soooo.. SHE told me to call them and see what all they knew and see if they might be able to help and that maybe he was lying to them...
Ok so, that night H was acting up again so i called and talked to his Mom then his brother called a while later to talk with H.. Boy oh Boy did H get pissed at me for that... yikes

Then the next day H and i was still in bad moods from the day before and on this day he had to see his counsler later in the after noon... H started in on me in the morning and we was arguing to the poitng that our 16 year old came in swearing at us to knock it off already and i was crying, i called thier Grandpa to have him come take the kids so they wouldnt have to hear us arguing anymore well things got out of hand and lets just say that H almost called the cops on my father.. So i backed off and played nice to get H to calm down..H said that he was going to leave and stopped his next appointments with his counsler..

Well anyway.. a couple days later i seen my counsler and i took him in with me. She told us that we shouldnt get family involved in our marriage even though she is the one that told me to do so.. ( i dont have friends outside my family so that leaves me with NO ONE to talk to)
Then she said that it takes 2 to tango and that if he abused me that i let it happen...

Now, i only talk with my 1 sister in-law and we was old school friends anyway and when i do call he H says ( are you telling her everything thats going on here?)
To me that just reenforces that H doesnt want me talking to anyone anyhow now he has my counsler backing him up on that.....

I dont know what to do about that..

BUT: H has the money for a bus ticket and i pray that GOD will give me the strength to let him go instead of talking him into staying like i always do... Plz help