Domestic Abuse: New Beginnings

Common & classic abuser.  Abusers are so good at this and you aren't the only who has had to go through this before.  Abusers are good manipulators and love to twist things around on us to make us look or feel bad.  They don't want to look like the bad one because heaven forbid it won't look good on them, so they twist everything around to make us look like we are in the wrong.  This is just another common, classic, abuser.  I swear, I'd love to gather them all up and get a bonkin'  bat to knock sense into every single one of them.  But they are all so dense it wouldn't phase them at all.

I think your abuser does this on purpose and he knows which buttons to push on you.  He knows how to work you in other words.  When he knows you are in town and wants to see the child, he will push your buttons by saying things like you just mentioned, "I think you tell our daughter bad things about me......" and he is doing that on purpose because he knows it makes you mad.  Regardless if you are or not, he knows how to push your buttons because he still wants to control you and he still wants that power over you.  IMO, if he is so danged concerned about yall's daughter, he'd get into counseling.  But he won't because he doesn't think anything is wrong w/him.  As usual, another common classic.  He won't change and he won't ever get it.  You, my friend, have done nothing wrong.  He, on the other hand, is just an abusive, self centered, jerk, who will never change.  Abusers are just impossible to deal with.

Keep venting as much as you want.  We are here for you.

A delay is not a denial - keep praying.

                 

Thank you so much! Yea, I am really needing to vent these past couple of days. You know I never wanted to believe he was actually "abusive." But I see him getting even worse than he was. And the other day when he picked my child up and was carrying her - she accidently kicked him. He actually slammed her down on the ground and stormed off - as if my child purposely had wronged him! I have been mad about this for days.....

And you are right, he doesn't see anything wrong with what he does. A few times he has said he would go to counseling - but would go only because I insisted, not because there is anything wrong with him. I have to tell you this makes me crazy!!!! I mean I know I have faults - who doesn't. And if someone called me on them, I would calm down and at the very least, admit it to myself about something I had done wrong.

And yes there are things that happen and I have to wonder did he do that purposely just to get me going?? For example, the last time I was at "his place" I looked in the bathroom draw which is at my young child's reach, and removed several razors. This time "at his place" those same razors (which he does not even use) where back in that draw where my child can reach. Come on! Anyway, thanks again for listening and I will keep posting and can't wait to leave town....God knows how many posts I will have to write before than...

Don't you worry about how many times you need to post before you leave town.  If you need to post 100 by the time you leave just to get it out of your system, then you go right on ahead.  That is what we are here for.  You vent away and post as much as you need to!

And I have to say, that was careless thinking on his part that he left razor blades in a drawer that a child could easily open and get their hands on.  She could have hurt herself, but I guess he failed to think of that.  He just doesn't get it nor will he ever.  She accidentally kicks him, het gets mad and slams her down on the ground and storms off?  What an A-hole, sorry but I have to say that.  There is no excuse and he shouldn't have even done that to her!  I would document that hun, I really would and I'd be very hesitant to allow him around her again, but that is just me.

Take a deep breath, this too shall pass.  (((HUGS)))

A delay is not a denial - keep praying.