Make Him Moan

I had started to place this on UMen, but realized this was a much more appropriate location for this particular discussion..  Ok, folks, help a sistah out!  :)  I'll tell you from the get-go this may get a little TMI, but I'll try and keep that to a minimum....

So the deal is that I really enjoy doing the deed with my guy and I'm concerned he's not enjoying it as much as I am and I want to know if you have some ideas on how I can improve that based on what I am doing-- or am not doing, apparently '-)  I love him to bits and we typically have a lot of fun in and out of the bedroom and I am always open to new ideas to ensure we have lots more of that in each area, and that it makes us both happy. 

Short backstory, we dated several years ago, then went to friends mode for a couple of years, became best of friends to each other and since April have become an exclusive couple, in dating mode and getting to know each other all over again as a romantic couple.  This time it's much more of a "serious relationship" than before when we were just dating.  He's a pretty awesome guy :)

So anyway, I stayed over at his house last night at his invitation.  We usually spend one overnight mid-week together, then meet up for dinner or a drink midway between us on another night but not overnight, and a reasonable portion of the weekends.  So we see each other pretty regularly even though we live about an hour apart

Last night, we got takeout, rented a movie and had nice time watching it, all cuddly.  Afterwards, I gave him a full-body massage, at least a half hours to 45 mins, and he thoroughly enjoyed it :)  Then he suggested we go to bed and started to play with me a bit, and I moved that into oral sex for him.  I'd read up on and saw a video on some new moves and wanted to try them out and see if he liked them and oh boy he did.  He climaxed twice and there was no mess to clean up, if ya'll get what I'm saying.  :)  Enjoyed it so much he fell totally asleep immediately afterwards!  I laugh about it now, but last night, man that was upsetting.  I couldn't sleep feeling the way I did (frustrated)  and hearing him snore was upsetting me even more, so rather than lay there in the dark and sulk about it, I took my butt to the TV room and watched late-night infomercials and mindless other stuff til I finally passed out.  He didn't even notice I was gone until this morning, he slept so soundly!  Again, I laugh now, but yeah...

So, ok, he came and got me and we went back to bed.  When I woke up, he was making coffee and getting his day started.  He works from home.  I had gotten some sexy shoes and lingerie and probably should have worn them the night before, but anyway, I put them on:  pink thigh-hi's with satin bows, a sheer pink and black bra, and 5-in black-patent Mary Jane stillettoes-- and no panties.  I take a shower, do my hair, put on some lipgloss and march myself in my pink and black outfit, heart a-thumping, into the doorway of his office and strike a pose....

• "Nice!  Are those the new shoes you bought?"  Um, huh?  But okay... 
• "Yes, do you like them?"  Posing and bending, turning..
• "Very nice!"  Smiles and... nothing.
• "Thanks!"  Turn and-- leave.

I go back to the bedroom and wait.  Surely he's going to jump up from his computer and join me, right?  Well, yes, but not until AFTER I hear him laugh about something Howard Stern and his twisted group of merry men have said.  This takes a couple of minutes.  Not long, but long enough for me to have waited a bit and then finally and slowly taken off my (by now feeling super-stupid) outfit and started changing into my work clothes.

But he comes in and admires my outfit a little, however makes no other significant move, so I continue to change for work.  Now, for work I wear fairly conservative office attire which is completely opposite of what I typically have on underneath, which this morning was black boyshort panties with garters and stockings (don't wear regular pantyhose anymore), matching black bra, and some midheel slingbacks.  The dress I wore is black with a V-neck and some shirring and ruffles in the chest and torso area, with a just-above-the-knee flared skirt.  So I look good, I know I look good because I tried to look good, and yet-- nothing from him, just "Nice!"

I take things a little more forward, if that's even possible after my panty-less appearance this morning, and take him back into the bedroom.  He *finally* gets into it and THEN that's when he says, "Don't you have to get to work?"

Are you kidding me?  I know there are guys out there who are reading this and wishing they got such treatment and attention and all with enthusiasm and loving goodwill, but what I get for it is, "Don't you have to get to work?" 

Sigh.  "Yep.  Yep I do.  Thanks for the coffee and have a great day." 

He did apologize before I left for ruining the mood.  Even though yes, I did have to get to work, no I wouldn't have gotten in trouble and oh by the way, there's a woman wearing lingerie and stockings in your bed who wants to get busy with you, would you please get yoru priorties straight?  At any rate, I did accept his apology and tried to let it go and just said, "It's ok, it happens sometimes."  Still, it hurt and felt like one rejection after another.

Ok, so WHAT am I missing?  I'm cute, a few people including him have called me beautiful, I enjoy sex and like trying new fun things with it, I take relative good care of myself, he never sees me unkempt, I wear body-conscious but not slutty and definitely not sloppy clothes, I take care of my hygiene and do a few little extras like nails and regular eyebrow waxing, I wear nice makeup not too much, not too little, I'm curvy but not fat (that cartoon avatar of mine IS fairly representative), I'm all about the bj and sex and enjoy both immensely, specifically with him...

What?  I don't get it.  If I was a guy I'd be all over that this morning.  But his lackluster response makes me not even want to try, although that would be unnatural for me...

UGH! The outfit sounds hott & the reaction does not. How embarrassing.

Do you know anything about his past girls? Maybe they were duds, & he's not used to a frisky one!

Are you going to ask him what it was?

"Hey Babe, I put on that whole outfit, is pink not your color, because I meant it to be a come on." ... And he can say, Oh!!! I thought ... you wear that all the time, or didn't want me to paw at you when you had work, or sorry I'll take the hint next time.

I certainly don't think he's not attracted to you. I'd suspect more that he didn't understand he was supposed to participate.

~~~

Next time rub one out in the tv room & go back to bed, to get your rest. ;-)

You're right. The pink outfit wasn't that much different than what I'd normally wear and I was getting ready for work. He probably thought I really was just showing him my new shoes! Haha!

Next time I think instead of posing in the doorway I'll either stand in front of him in my little outfit with one stilletoed foot in his crotch, or sit on his lap, facing him and tell him exactly what I want. I don't think he'll mistake that for a simple fashion show! Geez..

I know there are guys out there who are reading this and wishing they got such treatment and attention and all with enthusiasm and loving goodwill...

As one of those guys, I have to agree. So why are you with a guy who doesn't appreciate it? You could read this as a sign that you two have mismatched libidos or that he's sexually inconsiderate and do something about it (like acknowledge it and get out) or you could just spend the rest of your relationship frustrated with him. It's up to you.

As a man who's spent over 20 years doing the male equivalent of what you're doing, I wish I'd known 20 years ago what you know now. If I did, I would have left.