May-December Relationships

There are a few things to consider:

1. Even though he wanted to be supportive of the baby (good for him btw!) he stated from the begginning that even though you were having his baby he STILL did not want a committed relationship. That does not bode well for him changing his mind.
2. You both went through a very traumatic event. A miscarraige can often break up even happy committed relationships. The fact that your relationship was more casual, makes withstanding an unplanned pregnancy and something as traumatic as a miscarraige even more detrimental to the relationship.

Considering those two things, and the fact that you want to be married and have children, I don't think I would pin my hopes on him if I were you. Are you willing to wait around for perhaps 5 years for him to maybe decide he wants to be married to you and have a baby and maybe decide he doesn't? I don't think I could do it. Have you had a talk with him to see what he wants for his future and what his timeline is? He has been honest with you about not wanting a committed relationship, why not give him the opportunity to honestly see if your goals match up? And if not, go off and seek other men with similar goals. He knows where to find you if he changes his mind...

Also, I am very sorry for your loss.

He's already declared he is not looking for a serious committed relationship. Apparently he has other priorities at this time.

He's being honest with you. Please be honest with yourself about are you willing to gamble your time and declining fertility on the hopes that he might change his mind and want the same things you want. Point of example. I told my ExH kids were not on my lifetime list of things to do. He SAID that was ok by him. Turns out he was Secretly Hoping I would change my mind. I didn't. we divorced. Bottom line, he wasted 7 years on a hope after I told him exactly where I stood.

DeAnn

I am 40, bf is 27.  We met 4 years ago when he was 23 and I was 36.  The first 6 months we were pretty serious, and then we broke up because he just wasn't ready to make enough of a committment to even inform our families.  And then we have been on/off ever since.  I have spent the past 3.5 years trying harder, wanting more.  And now, I have spent the past 2 days writing 4 pages of what is for all purposes a goodbye letter.  It never should have gotten to this point.  Three and a half years ago I should have been done with it. 

Men don't talk in cryptic sentences.  If he doesn't want a committed relationship, he doesn't want one.  Maybe it is age related, maybe it isn't.  Find someone, regardless of his age, who does. 

Heather