May-December Relationships

I'm 41 and my bf just turned 22. We started going out in near the end of May. We were basically set up on a blind date by a mutual friend without knowing anything about each other. He thought that I was around 26 - I look young due to good genes. I said that I was over 35 and had 3 kids. We hit it off pretty well but I didn't we would go out after that due to the age difference.

I was surprised when he called a couple of days later asking to take me out to a movie. This was followed by a few more dates - he actually picked me up at my door. He broke up with me a month after our first date then asked for a second chance less than a week later. He said that he had never been in a relationship over a month and was scared. At this point I should have told him my actual age but I didn't know how to bring it up. I'm very self conscious about my age and will actually tell more people how much I weigh before I tell them how old I am - "I'm over 30 or 35."

Since he just had a birthday, I thought that I should tell him that I'm 41. We've been together for 3 months and the more time passes, the worse it will get by hiding my age from him. I'm really worried that he'll break up with me other this.

Have any of you female Decembers had this problem? What do you think I should say to him to soften the blow about my telling him my real age? Thanks for your help.

Sisterhoney61,

Thanks for the reply. I don't post to this board very often. I told him my real age and apologized for waiting so long. He was pretty shocked but didn't seem angry. He said that he needed time to let the news sink in. We talked the next day and he said the age difference was making him uneasy since there is a 19 year age gap instead of 13 or 14 years. He brought up maybe being completely platonic friends but we could still go out to movies, concerts, etc. I was very upset by this and asked him to think our situation little more since I dropped this bombshell on him

Another factor is that he is in college and still lives at home. He said that his parents seem "kinda okay" with us dating. He feels bad that he hasn't introduced me to his family - I'm not sure if that will happen now that I'm 5 to 6 years older than what he originally thought. I'd like to meet his family but I don't want to pressure him. We've been going out for 3 months so I thought it was too soon to bring it up. He hasn't met my kids yet.

We got together a week later after and I wasn't sure if he was going to end the relationship but things got hot and heavy so I guess I got my answer ;)

You and your DH have the same age gap as my and my BF. How long was it before you met his family? How did they react? How did your family react to him?

I met my now husband when he was 20 and I was 36. So, there are 16 years difference between us. He persued me and he thought I was 26 and I thought he was around 24. We talked online a lot after meeting and the way my age was brought up was one day he ask me who my "friend" was in the car with me the night he met me because his friend thought she was really cute. My "friend" was my 15 year old daughter. lol Then the "age" subject was brought up. He didn't seem to mind even though we had our ups and downs for several months because he had just got out of a relationship and I was going threw a divorce. Then one day out of the blue he said "lets do this".

As for meeting the family...I met his brother and sister in law about 1 month after talking to him. His mother lived next door to him and I met her about 3 months later. I don't think he told her my age for about 6 months but by then they loved me and I loved them so it didn't matter. They said they only wanted him happy and if I made him happy, that was good enough for them. His mother is only 4 years older than me, however, I'm older than his step dad. So, his mother married a younger man as well and has been married for I think 13 years or so. So, not much she could really say about it. lol

We have been together now for 7 years and married for 3 years. We have a baby girl that is now 16 months old. So yes, I took the plunge and had his baby at 42 years old. Best decision I've ever made. ;o)

--------------------------------------------------