Military Wives

I'm new to this, both the site and dealing with deployment. My Fiance has been deployed for a little over a month now and I'm starting to feel the strain. I am fortunate enough to be engaged to a man that has been my best friend for the last five years. And unfortunately I'm also used to being able to talk to him about everything. Communication has been extremely limited and sometimes it feels like we haven't spoken in forever.

I know that's probably pretty normal, but it's starting to wear me down. Anyone out there have any suggestions on dealing with the wait between calls or emails?

I started a blog, mostly for myself, but for DH too, so that when I need to tell him something or vent about my day, I can write on the blog like I would be talking to him, and it helps get it out. That way, he also is not bombarded the next time we do speak w/ everything emotional that happened to me that day or week, and he can check into the blog when he has more time to read it, etc. It helps me feel more connected to him to write letters also, and send them, so that I feel like I am actually getting to tell him everything that I wasn't able to at that moment because of the disconnect of communication!

It IS extrememly hard, so I feel your pain. I know it was tough for DH and I towards the beginning of the deployment to feel like we knew what was going on in our lives, and improved mostly as time has gone on... around the 6-7month mark it got sorta strained again but now is back on track... It's just a game of figuring out what works! Wishing you the best!

((Hugs))  Settling into the routine of deployments can be...unsettling.

About one month in I feel guilty when I'm not thinking about him, feel lonely when I do...feel restless at the thought of holidays without him, etc. etc.

I do a lot of writing to him, saving it as drafts in our email box.  He can read it when he has a chance, and if he doesn't get to it, I just add more.  Mostly ramblings of everyday life, which seems to humor him a lot:  the weirdo in front of me at the store, the goofballs at work.  The mundane seems suddenly interesting. He writes very little, but that's okay.   I think giving him everyday vignettes about life help him stay grounded.  It gives him something to look forward to, no matter how simplistic it may seem.  After all, isn't the crux of the military life essentially to fight for us to be able to have normal, boring lives?  Let him know that at least in your small corner, it's working.  His chaos creates your calm.  Don't feel guilty about that, because if tables were turned, you'd do the same for him.

P.S. If you can handle the strain of an engagement through deployment, you both have a wonderful, blissful marriage ahead of you!  Keep your eye on the prize!