Is It Meant to Be?

Just to set up a back story to this, I am about three months out of a four year relationship. My ex cheated on my with a girl he found online, came back to me after a weekend he spent with her, and a month later, was holding hands and walking into Victoria's Secret with a girl from his work. I ended the relationship right there, and feel like I've really made good progress in my life since getting rid of him, but there are still scars from having your first love do that to you, which I'm sure alot of women out there can relate to.

About a month after I broke up with my ex, one of my best friends introduced me to her boyfriend's roommate, who is also a very good friend of her's. I was attracted to him almost right away, but at the time, didn't really want to try for anything besides healing. However, the following weekend, he invited me over to his place for a party, and since then, we've hung out at least two or three times a week, which is really a lot for both us since I'm juggling two jobs, an internship, and school, and he works full time and goes to school too. It has escalated to the point where I stayed over at his apartment several times, and we have had sex twice. When we're together, it's really nice; he's always telling me how comfortable he is with me and has already introduced me to his best friend and told his mother about me. However, I'm having some big mental issues, and I'm just needing some advice on how to handle all this, or if I'm just blowing it out of porportion due to how my last relationship ended.

Another note on my guy is that he had gotten out of really terrible relationship about four months before we met. He was still talking with his ex even after the break-up though, but has since cut off communication with her after we met. However, he had to deal with her for several months wanted him to take care of her, even after they were broken up, and leading him on for a really long time. He doesn't really talk about it, but when it does come up, it's obvious that it still really hurts.

Okay, on to my issues, lol. I have a couple of questions, but any advice at all with what to do would be really nice.

First off, I'm not even sure if we're dating. I'm almost a hundred percent sure we are exclusively seeing each other, but we haven't dropped the boyfriend or girlfriend word once. I don't want to push him at all, since it's been my experience that that can scare guys away really quickly, but it is all very confusing for me.

Second, it's almost always me setting up our hang out times. Granted, I am the busier of the two of us, but I don't know if I should be worried. Our first few hang out plans were pretty much all him, but for the past three weeks, it's been me initiating it. Is this something I should be concerned about?

Another one issue I've been working with was a conversation we had the last time I spent the night over at his house. He was telling me how after he broke up with his last girlfriend, he's been doing things he never thought he would do. He had a one night stand (which I did too almost immediately after I broke up with my ex), and we moved alot faster than he's used to as well. He said like three times that he was not complaining about it at all, but I'm kind of stuck on over analyze mode right now. What did he mean by bringing that up?

The last one is just a weird issue...one of his friends who lives out of state had his only car break down on him, and he's been out of a job for several months. He and his girlfriend need a car, and my guy is going to drive all the way down to the state they're in to go drop off an extra one he's been working on. He mentioned to me while we were cuddling that what he really wanted to do was ask around if one of his friends would want to come with him to go, since traveling is more fun if you're with someone. Was he trying to invite me? I didn't want to invite myself on the trip, but should I have said something?

Thanks so much for sitting through all this. I'm sure it's alot of info to read through, but again, I'd appreciate any little bit of advice I can get! :)

First off, I'm not even sure if we're dating.
--My opinion is that you gave it up too soon w/o knowing where the so-called relationship was going. He seems that he's not quite over his ex yet. Remember it takes time to be single before you can truly date again. It sounds like he's not even sure what he wants. But it doesn't hurt to ask him.

Second, it's almost always me setting up our hang out times.
--That's a big clue right there. You see if your guy was truly interested, he'd be making a lot of the plans and initiating them. Remember if you want a relationship to work it's 50/50 and not 100/0. Leaving a little mystery with guys and making them work for your attention and time works in your favor.

He was telling me how after he broke up with his last girlfriend, he's been doing things he never thought he would do.
--He's talking to you about it because he feels comfortable and probably because you were in the same situation. He's also not over his GF if he keeps talking about her. If he had any feelings for you, he would take the time to be single and get over the ex first before getting into anything with you.

Bottom line, sounds like both of you need to back off and take time to be single again and "clear your system out". Bouncing from RL to RL doesn't help you at all. Giving yourself a good 6-12 months of no dating, no BF's, no nothing will not only help you in your next RL, but you won't be bringing up any ex's..like the guy you are dating did to you.

I agree with sweatpea....this is moving way too fast, since you both just got out of a long term relationship.  it is best to find out where the relationship is going, if you are on the same page or not before sex.

Most of the time breakups hit the female immediately afterwards, but with guys it takes  a little longer, and the sooner you jump into something else with someone, one or the other gets hurts.....they don't do it on purpose it just happens that way.

I would be very cautious, take the time to heal before getting involved with someone.

I would put a stop to things for now, take the time to heal and get my head straight, let him do the same, and later on down the road, if you are both still interested then try again.  But that is just me...I have been where you are and had to learn the lesson the hard way.  I'm not saying it isn't possible that things will work out but it would be the exception not the rule.