MAS

Hi all,

Things are going really great between AP/BF and I right now.  Lately we've been able to come through any arguments, just by talking them out...it's a really good thing.  It's about time too!

Ever since my breakdown a while ago, when I poured my heart out to him about how much it hurts me that he's a MM...he has been the sweetest, most loving BF you could possibly want.

Of course, we still have our moments (really, who doesn't argue on occasion?). The last time happened just the other night actually. The difference this time, is that he realized he was being a jerk and apologized fairly quickly for it. He planned a "make-up" date night and we had the most wonderful time together ~ as we usually do because we have so much in common and like the same things.

I know I shouldn't do this, but he has been so very loving with, and to, me. We did that one road trip, I met some of his family...we're planning another long road trip and life is pretty darned great right now! Our R is definitely not your usual A kind of thing. EVERYONE in our circle of friends accepts us as a couple, heck...in the last couple of days we've even been invited to dinner a couple of times. I don't know if AP/BF is ready for that but I took it as a great sign that he didn't blow a gasket :0)  Who knows though, right? I could never have imagined meeting his brothers and I did, so anything is possible.

What I'm trying to say is that, deep down in my heart....I really do feel that we will be together IRL one day. The love that I've felt from him (regardless of the bad times) is so strong and powerful, it just can't be a lie. The things he's told me about himself and his life...his experiences and growing up in his beautiful family, isn't that all part of the dance of falling in love? Preparing to move to the next step? Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't think so. I hate to say this, but even if that's not the case...I really can see myself remaining just the way we are now, for a very long time.

My heart is overflowing with so much love, joy, and happiness. I never want it to end, I really don't. It's a darned scary feeling, but oh so exhilirating!

I wish all of my MAS friends the same joy and happiness, I really do. It helps so much with self esteem ~ to be able to know you're loved just as much as you love them. It's our right.

benska

ooops....this was meant to be in discussions!

Benska,

I am so glad you are happy!! I agree with you on everything you said! I just wanted to say that I am glad you are happy and finding joy in what you are doing!!

M

Im so happy for you benksa. Its great to see some good stories here and it does give some light to know that good things can happen when this board can have so much pain. I hope it keeps going the way you want it. Whatever you got bottle some for me and send it over! I need the smiles!

Blessings to you.

SB

Oh Benska,

I'm so glad to hear of your happiness. Your post gives me hope that maybe AP and I will be together. It's nice to know that there is some happiness going around. Sounds like things are going the way you want. I hope with all my heart that if you and AP want to be together that it will be so. As Sometimesblue said, send some this way, I could definitely use it. Hugs my friend. Keep us posted!!!

Thanks for all the well wishes everyone, it means a lot!

It's a weird thing, you know? We've been doing the same dance for so long now, and every time I think it's all blown up...it's the complete opposite. I had no idea how alike men, in general (as a species) are. They really do display the same sort of thought processes. I don't know why that surprised me so much ~ one of the first things I noticed when I first started coming to these boards, was how similar our collective stories were...and how we deal with them.

So yes, things are going as well as can be expected on the personal front. Unfortunately though, I'm still chugging up that hill...just got turned down for EI and I'm really freaking out. That's what you get for working for 6-7 years....absolute bupkiss. Can't find a job for the life of me so, it's a good darned thing that I have the money from my separation agreement. It was supposed to be my nest egg to help with retirement...I shouldn't feel sad that I'm probably going to have to go through it just to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach, but I do. I know it's going to turn around soon, but when AP goes back to the job site...I do dwell and worry. Oh well, this too shall pass :)

Anyway, wishing all of my personal happiness spills out into the universe of Ivillage and my friends here!

Thanks again,

benska