MAS

Hi confused,

Please don't beat yourself up. I've been in my A for over two years now and he's still on my mind 24/7. He makes my heart pound, and my knees weak. I feel insane much of the time myself....welcome to the club :0(

Wouldn't life be perfect if we could feel like this about our H's?

benska

Yes, wouldn't that be wonderful. I wish I wanted to rip my husband's clothes off when he walked in the door, but I don't know that I've ever felt that way about him.

He called me at 12:15 and said he'd be here after he ate. He got here about 30 minutes later and we didn't have IC, but I definitely got my fix. For how long, who knows. It took a little bit for us to build up the courage (well, me to build up the courage) to start it, but it was great! I feel pathetic, still, but at least I'm in a good mood now. :)

He thinks IC is taking it too far although we do everything but that. Why IC would be different, I don't know, but I'm willing to stick with it as long as he is.

I definitely know where you are coming from. I catch myself feeling bonkers many a day. I'm improving somewhat, I think. lol. I think about AP 24/7. On the days where he says he's coming over or if I think he is, I'm pretty much on edge the whole day. I'm waiting and waiting for the call.. when the phone rings I jump and if it's not him, I'm almost devastated. It's ridiculous and I hate it sometimes.

I'm trying to get better. Sometimes I seem like I'm getting better and other times I feel like a basket case.

Hi everyone,

God, it's been over two years and I still feel like this! Even now, while he's off with his family...I wait all day for his texts/calls (and we have talked several times, thank goodness). I just heard from him and he's going to be longer than I expected...he knew I would be disppointed and offered, again, to buy me a one way ticket to visit my family. God bless him, but I turned him down. I'm hoping that I'm going to get a job interview any day now, so I need to stay put. I also need to do bill paying, and other "mundane" things...still think about him constantly while doing it all though. I have three notebooks full of writing...not to mention my online diary. Every single word in it is about him. I go to sleep thinking about him, and I wake up thinking about him.

I have a plan. I am going to be the best, sweetest, most accomodating girl friend he could possibly ever want...while retaining my own identity mind you. I'm going to make him want me so much that he will have no choice but to decide to be with me IRL. How's that for fantasy land? I try to remain realistic, he just makes it so hard sometimes. I texted him to say that I love him lots, and I miss him more...man of few words that he is? I got a "ditto" in return. I know what he's trying to say, and it means the world to me, KWIM?

I have no idea where we go from here. He's finished his out of town job. I don't know if he'll find another out of town, or try to find something here. I think for me, I would prefer an out of town job (something fairly close so I can visit though!). It's easy when I know the reasons for why we can't be together. If he was here, and we didn't spend an appreciable amount of time together, I would be a basket case. I would wonder what the heck the two of them are doing over there? While they live separate lives, they still share the same home and it IRKS the hell out of me. Stupid, I know.

I had started getting to get very excited at the thought of him being home soon (I assumed he'd be here by Saturday) and now I have to readjust my thinking to much farther down the road. At least he told me early, instead of just not saying anything and making me crazed.

Thank god for this support group is all I can say!

benska