MAS

Hi all - I'm here for the same reason most of you are, trying to deal with having an affair or almost-affair.

Details - I'm married for 6 years, with my husband for 8.  We have 3 young kids.  Our roles have always been reversed since we met: I have an education, great career, i'm driven and goal oriented and I work full time supporting all 5 of us.  My husband never lived on his own before me, has no sense of what it takes to pay bills, keep things together etc.  He never finished college, has no real goals just dreams.  He stays home and 'takes care' of our children.  This actually means he watches them and I come home and spend the time I'm not working being Suzy Housewife as well as Breadwinner.  We're not well matched.

About 9 months ago I got super frustrated with our relationship and turned to the web.  A site to connect people who are unhappy with their situations and reach out to others for various levels of connection.  I made a connection with one man, we had great email conversations, had a lot in common including similar goals and motivations in life, we met 3 or 4 times and nothing even remotely physical happened.  Just basically talking about our relationships and what is wrong.  That ended when he wanted to turn back and patch things with his wife... I'm happy for that. 

I turn back to the same site and connect with yet another man.  We've been emailing and chatting on IM - all very X-rated.  I find it fun, exciting, scary all at the same time.  I don't desire my husband anymore - I haven't for a long time - and it all stems from how different we are in every way.  My OM is married, lives an hour away and has no kids ( I haven't told him about mine) but we've progressed to pictures and texts.  He wants to meet me, even for drinks, and I'm so tempted to say yes but I'm obviously wary of taking that HUGE step.  Even though it's an online affair, I'm physically attracted to him and would love to play out our games in person if I WAS a different person. 

I know you'll say "don't do it," "stay away," but I want feedback, support, similar stories.  If my first AP had wanted to, I believe I would have gotten somewhat physical with him.  I had a real connection with him.  This AP is playing out in cyber-sex...