MAS

I just can't do this to myself anymore. XAP is done, he's made it clear he's done, he doesn't care, he only speaks to me when it's beneficial for him, if I speak to him he's pig head and condescending (sp?) I shouldn't be sitting home at my lunch time crying because he can go on acting like nothing ever happened between us. Like I dreamt the whole last year of my life.

Why does he e-mail me and tell me to smile? What does he care if I smile? How can he just turn it off like that? Go from one day not being able to be near each other without our bodies needing to touch in some way even if it's our feet next to each other to the next act like it was fun now it's over oh well?

I've tried to be friends, I e-mail him jokes and funny comments about our co-workers and he ignores most of them. But if i ask him if he wants me to go away and stop talking to him he tells me I'm being silly. I don't know what he wants from me and my job hunt isn't going to great either.

Thanks for letting me vent sometimes I just need to, I have to go dry my eyes and get back to work I'm going to be late.

A few hours have past and I'm still majorly PO'd.  I'm not talking to him at all even when I gave him his paperwork for the day he said thank you and I just walked away and he kept repeating it getting louder & louder that the other people in the office were looking at me funny as to why I wasn't paying attention to him.  The last couple of weeks I've been catching him starting at me and if I look up he smiles. WHY?!?!?!?!!  I am so tempted to e-mail his family (Wife, Mother, brother etc) on FB and tell them what a low life sleaze ball he is.  But I know it would destroy him and make my job here even worse because I don't think his wife would just sit back and say it's okay. He may be able to talk her out of contacting my Husband but who knows. 

What annoys me so much is how he tells me all the time he's not a bad guy, he's not like those other guys etc. What a crock! He was the one that started all this not me, I've tried to end it so many times and he comes back with a vengeance.

I HATE HIM!!!!

hi dreamz,

I can tell how hard this is for you.  It seems like you want and are trying to move on, but then just as you do, there is a set back.

He definitely seems like he doesn't know what he wants.  One minute he wants to be your friend, the next he barely acknowledges you or does so in a less than desirable/un-friendly way.  It seems like he is trying to perhaps distance himself, but at the same time try to be friends so he doesn't feel so guilty for being such an a**. 

A year is a long time to have been in that situation and for him to go back and forth between being a jerk and being nice is ridiculous.  While you both may be trying to move on and forget it ever happened, its easier said than done.  His inconsistent behavior sounds irritating and hurtful.  You are definitely doing the right thing, trying to remain professional and looking for another job.  I hope you find something soon as I'm sure that will relieve a great deal of stress for you.  Hang in there.

You don't have to be religious to find comfort in the words of T.D. Jakes when he said "Let it go!"

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

Still hate him, even more now because I fell for his stupid trap. (I'm a complete moron)

I ignored him all day Wednesday and I got an e-mail from him before he left work (he's in before me and leaves after me) "Why are you mad at me today?" then the next morning I got an e-mail "GOOD MORNING" I don't know why it takes me shutting down and ignoring him for him to turn into a puppy dog with his tail between his legs.  I e-mailed him back I didn't know I was mad at you" and 'Happy Un-Anniversary" to the other.  (He claims we don't have an anniversary even though we started everything on 11/5/08) He was in a good mood, making jokes and being his normal flirty self, (I think it was the knee high boots I was wearing but who knows) We took a drive at lunch and it was a good day for us.

He was going away for a long weekend so I e-mailed him before I left work and told him to have fun, bring me back a gift and that I'll miss him. He wrote back he will have fun, he'll get me a gift and he'll miss me too.  His trip was cancelled but he sent me a text on Friday anyway, something flirty and we texted back and forth for about 2 hours then he stopped.

I came this morning to work and he is in a very bad mood because he has to go out on the road unexpectedly,  I hugged him and went to kiss his cheek and he pulled away.  When I asked why he said because I wanted to, So I'm back to ignoring him and I told him when you go out come back in a better mood. He mumbled something to me and his personality changed a little but I'm just going to go back to not caring. I'm tired of his bi-polar mood swings and his me, me I, I attitude.