discussion title:
Still Here, Still Confused
Without going into a long story, I lurk here a lot and have posted just a few times. AP and I have been together since January of this year. At first, AP told me he was leaving his W etc etc. In July, he told me he changed his mind and wanted to be with her and I was devastated. I am also M and we have a small child.
Well, after about a month, AP was back, saying he missed me and he loved me. He has never stated that he wants to leave his W and I doubt he will. I do not know how I feel about my H. Sometimes I want to leave, sometimes not.
The hard part for me is that AP, his W, me, and my H are all very good friends. We became better friends as the A progressed so that AP and I could see each other more often. At first, I was ok with this but not really any more. Last weekend, we spent much of Saturday and Sunday together and AP was very cozy with his W (arm around her etc) which I am not used to seeing and made me very uncomfortable and actually mad.
On Monday, I told him how upset I was, told him I can't watch him be like that with his W. He told me it bothered him to see me with my H too. Well, he's been extra extra "lovey" towards me since then. We usually meet for lunch twice a week and he meets his W for lunch once a week. Today when we were talking, he asked me if I had plans for lunch tomorrow (his day to meet with his W). He then said he wanted to tell his W he was busy and couldn't make lunch so that he could meet with me because he misses me.
I feel like he is messing with my head so much. He constantly is telling me how much he loves me, that he dreams about me, that he wishes he woke up to me every morning, that he wishes it was me he went to sleep with at night. And then here he is cuddled up with his W. Is this the total definition of cake eater?
I'm so confused.
Love 
