MAS

Thank you to those that read and responding back.  Sincerely, I appreciate everyone on this board for being such a great support to me.

Lost,

I'm so sorry you are hurting. I understand the pain. I just wish things with the fireman had worked out so you could have forgotten about AP. It really sucks that we cant help who we fall in love with. I wish we could control these things. It's just so hard to break away when those feelings are there.

Yes, I have those days where I want to cry my eyes out and I feel depressed because he's married, or I know he's out with W. It's just plain hard. But know and I believe that we wont feel this way forever. There is a light at the end of this crazy tunnel. Just know you arent alone. Things in one way or another will work out for you. Continue to be the strong woman that you are. You probably dont feel strong right now but I know you are.

HUGS MY FRIEND

Thank you to those that read and responding back.  Sincerely, I appreciate everyone on this board for being such a great support to me.

Wow, Lost.  I haven't really been following your story, but from what you've written here, your AP sounds like an @ss!  If you reread your post, you might agree with me.

I'm really sorry you're hurting.  It's hard to fall in love with someone who's already committed to someone else.  And it sounds like your AP is committed to his wife and not to you.  My advice is to find a way to let this one go.  Let his wife deal with all his lies.  You deserve so much better.

One more thing... what you said really got me puzzled:

He's not worth fighting for, but I don't want to let him go.  I want him at all costs...but he just won't leave.

WHY won't you let him go?  And WHY would you want him at all costs?  Do you really want someone who lies and hurts you all the time?  WHY?  He doesn't deserve you!

Keep your chin up and realize that you deserve someone WAY better than this guy!

Im so sorry Lost. I know the FF took you for a ride and was hoping that you didnt need AP to fall back on, but old habits die hard.

I cant remember if you had a D-Day- did you?

Maybe the W fell preg when she felt him pulling away and that was a quick M fix. When a man feels guilty, you know the types of things they will say or do to get out of a messy situation. They will say and do almost anything so they dont have to face emotional vomit us females love to spew.

I really do not know what you should do here. I totally understand your attachment to him and if it were me, i would also be thinking of the time invested and how well he knows me. I am not one that likes to get used to new men so i choose to sit on the sidelines and wait also (well until someone REALLY REALLY good comes and catches my eye) I also know that your APs kids mean the world and he will string you out again because there will be the first step, first words first everything that will pull at his conscience with the new baby. His W has him by the balls here and you cant compete with that.

All i can do is hope you decide quickly what you want and need and have the strength to follow through. You deserve happiness too and you are not getting it.

Big hugs and blessings to you.

SB